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Monday, October 13th 8:47PM Dear Diary, Spent day reading poll results and evaluating chances of making it into White House. In case of failure on Nov. 4, have developed back-up plan: Sarah for President, 2012. Have begun preparations for next campaign. Am worried about possible triple-threat of Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Paris Hilton. Strategy of attack: 1) Michelle: If husband elected, hire White House intern to seduce, use resulting negative media to undermine wife’s campaign in future. If husband not elected, continue allegations of terrorist activities, looking into contagious nature of Islam/terrorism. Possible campaign slogan: Once a Muslim terrorist, always a Muslim terrorist. 2) Hillary: Assuming young TV-comedy-watching population decides to vote for first time ever, hire SNL to propagate negative image in popular culture. If Fey woman refuses to cooperate, ask Cindy and/or Jill for advice on how to seduce older male politician-type. 3) Paris: Potential running mate choice. Ideas for Palin-Hilton platforms: swimsuit competition, new clothing line, sandals. Perhaps will neglect to mention new campaign to John as poor man already has enough problems. Love yah! Sarah Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin

I have a couple problems with my car. My horn doesn't work, windshield washer doesn't work, left turn signal is lit but doesn't flash, and when I open the door light comes after while. I replaced all fuses and I put a washer fluid. I don't know if those problems are related or I have to fix them one by one. Any ideas? Thanks for your help.

Monday, October 13th 8:02pm Dear Diary, I am outraged! The nerve of McCain’s advisors to think that they could go after someone like me. This swift-boating is getting ridiculous. Do they really think that attacking me is going to get him elected?! If anyone should be attacked, it’s Cindy McCain! SHE’S the one who’s addicted to pain killers, and she stole them from her own nonprofit organization! Who is more fit to be the First Lady? And don’t get me started on Sarah Palin. That woman is a walking disaster. So for them to attack me for working at the same law-firm as Ayres wife?! They will stop at nothing. Thank god the media loves me. Just saw clips of myself at rallies in Minnesota. Damn, I am good. There’s a chance we can win this state, and I am doing everything I can do to get it. Not just to get Barack elected. I don’t want that Cindy in the White House. McCain’s gonna pay for those remarks. Plus, this is good publicity for when I start my own campaign… Kids home from school today since it’s Columbus Day. Sorry that I couldn’t be there with them, but hopefully I’ll have more time for family when I’m in the White House. Considered bringing them with me on the campaign trail, but am now concerned that the media will bring them into the swift-boating spotlight. Am working on getting them to go on AIM without all the internet corrupting them. Read that Levi claims he wasn’t forced into marrying Bristol. Ha! Who does he think he’s fooling? Pay-off is written all over his face. Though he certainly is a heartthrob… Quite a catch for Bristol. Surprised it’s not more publicized that he’s dropping out of high school, but I guess education never was important to Republicans. Just one more reason why we’re a better family to go in the White House. Which reminds me – I need to check on Sasha to make sure she’s keeping up with her homework. Gotta keep my kids on top… Yours always, Michelle Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Michelle Obama