Let’s close the Vagina Café

I’ve written before about how men often say they have no opinion on this or that because it’s a “woman’s issue,” which is bull and we all know it. And the thing is, we know that with the help of our brothers, we can stop violence against women, we can stop misogyny, and we can stop this atrocious war on women and their health in this country.

But we’re just not getting enough help, are we? Not when a woman is kicked out of the House during an abortion debate for saying the word “vagina.” (As the ACLU says, “VAGINA: Can’t say it? Don’t legislate it.”) Not when so many men say, “Yeah, that sucks honey,” when you rant and rave about men making laws on your body, your healthcare, your childcare, your very life—laws that could, indeed, sentence you to death, depending upon your condition or any future condition in your life; laws that sometimes even mandate raping you in the process of obtaining medical care. And then they proceed to watch Mythbusters, or whatever, not thinking a moment about it longer, because why would they? They’re not going to be affected—at least, not until their wives are faced with an unplanned pregnancy while they’re both laid off, or their daughters get raped. I often wonder how many conservatives would raise a rapist’s child.

As Representative Rashida Tlaib argued during the same debate (which was over limiting abortion rights in Michigan even further than they currently are), it’s unconscionable that we are launching a war on women rather than one on poverty, which every single freaking person in power in this country should be concerned with right now. She also proposed this: “Stop having sex with us, gentlemen, and I ask women to boycott men until they stop moving this through the House.”

I love it. I really do. Because a sex ban has worked before.

Women in Colombia refused to have sex in order to get a bad road fixed that the town had refused to fix for years. The road was responsible for many deaths, as well as a lack of transportation and the carriage of much-needed goods. Though initially the men scoffed, the road was fixed.

It shouldn’t have to come down to this, brothers. You should be able to respect us to make our own medical decisions like adults rather than treat us like your property in the g-d 21^st century! When I phonebank your house and ask you to make a call to your legislator through NARAL or Planned Parenthood from a petition YOU signed and you mutter, “Oh, I’ll get my wife,” DON’T YOU DARE, SIR. Just as with car salesman and cable companies and pretty much anyone else in this patriarchal culture, our politicians seem to take menfolk more seriously, you see. (We have a saying in my family that if men could get pregnant, there would be drive-thru abortion clinics in every county.)

So we need you. We need you to voice your opposition to this outrageous disregard for women as people. And if you truly care about us—your mothers and your sisters and your daughters and your wives and girlfriends—then you know what’s being done is wrong and that everyone needs to stand up to these ancient bullies and maybe you’ll speak up on this “women’s issue.”

And if not… well, girls, a little abstinence never hurt anyone.