Video Non Sequitur: F**king Cruise Ship

Submitted by brodiemanthe1st on 1/08/13 9:00am

Greg Benson of Mediocre Films2 is currently vlogging his cruise to Hawai'i. I am not sure if he is enjoying himself or not, but he sure found an ax to grind.

Oh No They Didn't: Al Roker Sharted In The White House

Submitted by brodiemanthe1st on 1/08/13 7:44am

What a lovely subject to start the day with. Yesterday, a clip/story started bouncing around the web about gastro-intestinal surgery (aka stomach stapling) where Al Roker was interviewed. In his description of his experience, he rather calmly let loose the following anecdote about visiting the White House. Gross.

Reading Pile: 1/7/13

Submitted by wrathamon on 1/08/13 12:25am
Fear Agent, Glory, Morbius & Orbital

Fear Agent Library Vol  1 HC-Pretty much any way you look at it, this is definitely worth the $49.99 price point. First of all, it’s a Dark Horse hard cover. That kinda instantly means it’s going to have a better production value than 75% of the other publishers. It’s huge and heavy enough to bludgeon someone, and to anyone who knows me that right there is reason enough to buy this package. On top of that though you have the density of story as this has 480 pages of pulp sci-fi action crammed into it. It collects fifteen issues that would have cost you about the same value anyway, so get the size increase and pretty design as a bonus. Then you have the story of a perpetually drunken and ornery cowboy spaceman who keeps suffering tragedy after tragedy, which just makes for amusing reading. The oversized pages also compliment the Tony Moore and Jerome Opena artwork,  enhancing all the gritty detail and big-screen sci-fi action. If you’ve already enjoyed the series then you’re just hemming and hawing at the format switchover, so rest assured you’re getting a good upgrade. If you’ve never read the title it’s understandable you might not want to throw fifty bucks on it, so do yourself a favor and check out the first volume from the library and catch up. A

Glory #31- I am incredibly disappointed that this series will be ending soon, because issues like this one restore my faith in comic books as a whole. Instead of what would have been a fairly predictable but I’m sure still enjoyable climatic fight, they instead decided to give us a really nice curve ball and some waffle mix. Seriously. An abundance of waffle mix. Also a sandwich press. A+

Morbius The Living Vampire #1-I really like Joe Keatinge’s scripting, as my review of the last issue of Glory above will confirm. While I do have a decent-to-good enough knowledge of the character’s history, I don’t have a particular fascination for him so it doesn’t bug me too much that this book seems to be taking a new reader friendly approach. It’s an incredibly slow set-up though and it doesn’t really hold my attention for too long, so hopefully Keatinge will have a nice turn for the next issue. It does have a nice cover though. B-

Orbital Vol 2: Ruptures- A great continuation from the first volume, if you get the opportunity to jump on now while it’s early I really do recommend you do so. These are some fantastic sci-fi stories for a very affordable price, and it would be a shame to miss out if these don’t stay in print for too long. A- 

Low Minors M's (Gordon Gross)

Submitted by jemanji on 1/07/13 5:25pm
G-Money flyover

 

.

=== Ji-Man Choi ===

Ji-Man Choi has not been healthy. It’s like losing Snelling’s early years, because all the kid has done everywhere is hit, albeit in brief spurts. He’s strictly a 1B/DH now (no catching with a broken back) but the 2 year detour in his development is the Ms fault, not his. Of course, it’s hard to get 1B hype unless you were really highly drafted; the bar is set pretty high in performance for those who weren’t.

Just keep in mind that after only a season’s worth of at-bats, a very raw 21 year old Choi has a .325/.430/.485 line, without much in the way of homeruns. Assuming he goes to High Desert this year he’ll still be under-rated, because of course he’s gonna hit in High Desert. Just remember to keep an eye on him: if you cut off MWL performances at 60+ games, he’s first in OBP, and 5th in OPS.

.

=== Timmy Lopes ===

Rookie league stats aren’t useless… but they’re certainly filled with noise. That said, any time you hit 13 triples in 50 games, you’ve probably got some speed and ability to put the bat on the ball. Timmy Lopes is really interesting. I think a couple of our other teens will wind up in Everett this year, but Lopes might start in the Midwest League at second base. He didn’t turn 18 til after the draft – dude’s a baby.

With no HR power in his swing that makes him a Chone Figgins/Joey Cora type, but, uh… Figgins had pretty huge leadoff value for quite a while, no? I don’t think his swing mechanics are gonna lead to him getting too many more HRs with age, either – but I didn’t think Jimmy Rollins would, and he was very valuable even before his increased power. I like Lopes a lot. We’ll see how he does in full-season ball.

.

=== Leon Landry, Julio Morban ===

Landry and Morban are basically copies of each other, except one guy was an IFA and one went to college here in the states (LSU, big baseball school). Both played in High Desert so either could succumb to post-partum stat depression upon leaving.

As center fielders, though, they have a ways they could fall and still be quality hitters for their position. I get why they’re not higher on the list (nobody wants to get caught by the flood of failed hitters once they depart the desert) but Morban has always had one of the sweetest swings (health is his real issue).

Mistrust of Landry is Landry’s own fault. He did poorly in the MWL the previous season. Adam Jones failed in the MWL too – a lot of people do. Morban and Landry are two to watch in 2013 for sure, because if either can keep hitting in AA… look out.

.

=== Others ===

We just have a lot of players with huge upside potential. Kivlehan is old, but I don’t care. Brian Jordan got in his first full big-league season at age 28 with a similar history (defensive back in college, etc). The difference is Jordan played baseball his whole college career. Kivlehan only just picked up a bat again after a 4 year layoff and won the Big East POY in college, then the NWL POY as well. He led the league in OPS.

His upside is a complete unknown – there’s no ceiling. Maybe he can’t hit a breaking ball, and he’ll completely faceplant at higher levels, like some of our foreign free-swingers. Or he could be an absolute terror once he gets some reps. Right now he’s doing everything with pure natural talent.

..............

Gohara and Diaz are live arms with basically zero experience as well. Either could be the next Campos to shoot up the charts, while Pike is more of a Hultzen-as-a-teen type with 3 pitches and a nasty breaker to go with his polished approach. I do like Pike quite a bit - but what's not to like about a polished lefty with a nasty curve and good change who can touch low-90s with his heat, accurately?

................

DeCarlo was drafted very high for a raw kid from the Northeast, but was compared favorably with first round talent from warmer weather states (Daniel Robertson comes to mind).

Robertson is rated as the #10 prospect for the As, and a B-. Both play third base, both posted essentially the same line, with Robertson getting a 100 AB promotion to short-season A and faceplanting. Is Robertson better? Can’t say yet – as I said, rookie ball lines are very unreliable and DeCarlo skipped many of the national showcases that would have gotten him better pre-draft publicity. DeCarlo showed he was willing to take a walk and had some power.

That’s enough for now; if he’s worse than Robertson a) it isn’t by much at this point and b) certainly not several hundred prospect slots worse.

.

=== 30,000 Feet ===

It’s just a very volatile low-minors situation. I don’t blame Sickels for wanting more data before plucking names out of the hat for the next batch of B prospects in our system, but it sure looks like the train’s continuing. We’ll see next year which of these guys bounces up. I expect many of them to rise to the occasion. Zduriencik picks seem to have that way about em…

~G

"Space Cadet"

Submitted by erika on 1/07/13 3:22pm
How many "jokes about raping children" is too many?

This episode had so much promise in the first act, but then it kind of fizzled. With such a strong start, coupled with the Bob's Burgers joke, I wonder if Family Guy isn't slipping in the ratings in its place right after Bob's Burgers. The time slot right after a strong show is often a terrible one; I have heard it called "the dog walking time slot." You watch a great show, then you go walk the dog during the next show, and come back for the one after that.

(Bob's Burgers is, like, so freakin' amazing, though. If anything has the potential to overturn Animation Domination's long-time standings, it's Bob's Burgers! I love that show so much.)
 
I bash on Family Guy when it gets lazy like a parent chiding a kid for not living up to their potential in school. When Family Guy is on its game, it can't be beat. The first act of this episode included a fake Monty Python intro, Chris reading out an essay about what his teacher does after school, and Peter being hypnotized by Breaking Bad. (The later call-back to this scene was the cherry on top.)
 
I have felt for a long time that Chris has a lot more potential as a character, particularly considering how much time Meg has been getting lately. Chris had that first season episode where he wanted to draw instead of go camping, but beyond that, he mainly serves as a foil for the neighborhood pedophile's attention.
 
 When Chris overhears his parents talking about how dumb he is, he resolves to prove them wrong. So many ways this could have gone. (So many BETTER ways.) Of all the ways for a teenage boy to prove to his parents that he's a secret genius, "signing up for Space Camp" would not have been my first choice. But okay, I was willing to roll with it.
 
But then I lost the plot when we got a string of three over-the-top cutaways in a row. A joke where Peter gleefully admits to raping children, a painfully racist Japanese/Chinese joke, and (why not?) a Holocaust joke. It's like the show doesn't WANT me to like it, and at a certain point I have to agree. 
 
This season it feels like Family Guy is acting like that one dude who is constantly testing the boundaries of your friendship by seeing how badly he can behave and you'll still hang out with him, because when he's NOT drunk he's a pretty good friend. How much bad behavior are you willing to tolerate from someone before you decide not to be their friend? How funny does a show have to be, in order to convince you to overlook all the jokes about child rape? 
 

"Homer Goes To Prep School"

Submitted by erika on 1/07/13 2:50pm
"Don't call me Mom!" "Sorry, Mrs. Simpson."

I wanted to like this episode. Boy, I really did. The premise was golden: Homer gets sucked into the world of doomsday preppers. It's timely, it has a lot of comedic potential, and it's oddball enough to be interesting in and of itself.

The episode had some great moments, don't get me wrong. As someone who spends a lot of time keeping tabs on the various paranoid conspiracy theorists of the world, I took a particular delight in the video that convinced Homer Simpson that the world was going to end. I'm not sure how many viewers will be able to appreciate the way that it hit all the right notes, while still being hilariously parodic ("17 YEAR CICADA CYCLE").
 
I can think of a lot of ways in which this episode would have worked better. But isn't that always the way? Monday morning quarterbacking. I hate it when people do it to me, and I'm sure the Simpsons crew hates it when random bloggers (like myself) do it to them. 
 
But still, I have to wonder: didn't anyone somewhere along the way propose that the preppers should be familiar characters from Springfield? Why go to all the trouble to create a prepper compound outside Springfield, only to populate it with the guest star's character (Tom Waits is a great choice for this episode by the way), Herman the one-armed man who's a tertiary character at best, and a bunch of (correct me if I'm wrong) characters we've never seen before, and will likely never see again. (Note: I can't remember if Cletus was in the prepper group or not, and my quick bit of Googling turns up nothing. I remember he was in the first act, calling sugar packets "mouse pillows," but I don't remember if he was there later or not.)
 
If I was going to rewrite this episode (in my feverish, sweaty nerdish dreams) I would have put the following characters in the prepper group:
  • Hans Moleman
  • Bumblebee Man
  • Ned Flanders
  • Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel
 
I think you will have to agree, looking over that list, that Damn I'm good. 
 
Ned would be prepared the way the Mormons are, but without the (in his words) blasphemy. Bumblebee Man would keep trying to cheer everyone up, and becoming increasingly annoying in the process. Hans Moleman would turn out to have been building an incredibly elaborate underground bunker all these years. And Cletus, with his decades of squirrel-skinning and moonshine-brewing experience, would be their undisputed leader.
 
How great would that be??? 
 
Anyway, this episode? I don't know. I guess it could have been worse.
 

Geiger Counter Readings in Seattle, WA on January 7, 2012

Submitted by phoenix on 1/07/13 1:20pm
Latitude 47.704656 Longitude -122.318745

Geiger Counter Readings in Seattle, WA on January 7, 2012

Ambient office = .061 microsieverts per hour

Ambient outside = .098 microsieverts per hour

Soil exposed to rain = .112 microsieverts per hour

Dried blueberries from grocery store  = .092 microsieverts per hour

Tap water = .133 microsieverts per hour

Filtered water = .121 microsieverts per hour

Geiger Counter Readings in Seattle, WA on January 6, 2012

Submitted by phoenix on 1/07/13 1:19pm
Latitude 47.704656 Longitude -122.318745

Geiger Counter Readings in Seattle, WA on January 6, 2012

Ambient office = .106 microsieverts per hour

Ambient outside = .100 microsieverts per hour

Soil exposed to rain = .084 microsieverts per hour

Hass avacado from grocery store  = .128 microsieverts per hour

Tap water = .078 microsieverts per hour

Filtered water = .074 microsieverts per hour

Geiger Counter Readings in Seattle, WA on January 5, 2012

Submitted by phoenix on 1/07/13 1:17pm
Latitude 47.704656 Longitude -122.318745

Geiger Counter Readings in Seattle, WA on January 5, 2012

Ambient office = .097 microsieverts per hour

Ambient outside = .154 microsieverts per hour

Soil exposed to rain = .136 microsieverts per hour

Vine ripened tomato from grocery store  = .084 microsieverts per hour

Tap water = .107 microsieverts per hour

Filtered water = .098 microsieverts per hour

Geiger Counter Readings in Seattle, WA on January 4, 2012

Submitted by phoenix on 1/07/13 1:16pm
Latitude 47.704656 Longitude -122.318745

Geiger Counter Readings in Seattle, WA on January 4, 2012

Ambient office = .126 microsieverts per hour

Ambient outside = .133 microsieverts per hour

Soil exposed to rain = .113 microsieverts per hour

Banana from grocery store  = .102 microsieverts per hour

Tap water = .106 microsieverts per hour

Filtered water = .092 microsieverts per hour

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