Gillespie Nods: Behind The Scenes on "The O.C."

When it comes to Josh Schwartz's hot-then-not teen soap The O.C. I have to fight the compulsion to dismiss it as vapid dreck intended solely for 13-year-old girls. Normally I wouldn't, but I have vivid memories from college of beer-swilling frat boys who were downright obsessed with the show in an entirely unironic way. They stopped parties cold to watch the most recent episode, they sang along with the theme song and they had extensive knowledge of the show's labyrinthine social plot. Something about that series just clicked with a wide demographic, or at least it did until its ratings plummeted and it was canceled in 2007. All this mind, I've decided to make as few assumptions as possible about celt111, the author of today's fan fiction feature "Operation: so long goodbye". To remove any biases that may arise from framing this story as the work of a bored teenager or a stalled adult super-fan, let's approach "Operation: so long goodbye" as if it were a real outline for an episode of The O.C.

Friday.

Alex POV 2:25

English... What a bitch. The blonde thought. They had sat there for around thirty minutes listening to Mr Edwards read Hamlet to the class. Total crap... Alex began to drift off and started to write lyrics on her notepad.

"Miss Kelly!" A voice errupted startling the blonde. "Care to explain your analysation of Hamlet?"
"Not really, no" Alex smiled.

"I wasn't asking Kelly. Just do it." Sighing Alex thought for a moment, before smiling slightly to herself.

Production Notes: Some nice establishing shots. Viewers may be confused by the image of a man doing a cold reading of an entire play by himself. Maybe have him use a higher inflection for the female dialogue? Some concern over the bit about the song lyrics. Not sure if we can assure licensing on such short notice, especially with the network tightening its belt recently. Parents may be upset at the thought of a high school English teacher who uses words like "analysation". Will have to talk to Olivia Wilde's agent to discuss the impact a double-smile might have on her sensitive visage.

 

Lexi's POV 2:25

Science... What a bitch. The redhead thought. They were paired off and Lexi was left with this greasy jock called Brad. They were doing some wierd ass experiment when the heat something over a bunsen burner to see what it did. They were at the back of the room, Brad was bragging about something with his poxy football. And Lexi was ripping apart and burning parts of his books.

Production Notes: Viewers may find the sudden addition of an as-yet-unmentioned sister for Alex jarring, especially since it appears their parents gave their two daughters the exact same name. Not sure if we can get a scene depicting ass experiments past the censors, especially kinky stuff involving lab equipment. Also, your protagonist is burning books on a show about a Jewish family.

 

"Or what? You'll hit me? You? A girl?" Brad was almost crying with laughter. He didn't see Lexi dive over the bench taking him down. The sound of the books and science equipment crashing to the ground attracted the attention of the rest of the students and teacher who watched in awe as Lexi repeatedly punched Brad in the face whilst screaming various curses at the terrified boy. Some of the boys finally composed themselves and pulled the red head off of the jock and threw her out of the room, with the teacher simply stating "Prinicpal."

Production Notes: Perhaps include a shot to indicate that the other students noticed the confrontation because of the shouting and setting things on fire, not just the overturning of a whole lab station that is probably built into the floor. The moxie of the scene is good but we'll probably get an angry letter from the Board of Education for depicting a teacher who is in awe of his student's violent outburst. Also, our 9:00 PM time slot won't allow for a direct shot of a savage beating.

 

The pair exited speedily. When they were far enough away they leaned against a wall and simply stated in unison. "Fuck."

Production Notes: The higher-ups at Fox really wanna be the first to trot out the F-bomb on network television, but now is not the time.

 

"Agreed. I want to go somewhere sunny. Like Orange County."
"Canada for me." Lexi replied. "Would that mean we'd seperate?"
"I guess." Alex nodded. "But i can't stay at that place anymore. You know that" Lexi nodded in response. Tearing up.

Production Notes: Though the Alex Kelly character is tracking well, budget constraints make the prospect of an entirely new location shoot, let alone a flashback plot, fairly unattractive. Perhaps transform the flashback into a fantasy sequence, the school setting into a beach setting, Alex's sister into a nameless redhead beach bunny, and the security camera sabotage scene into a wild makeout session. Solid gold.