The Five Year Engagement
Quizzically staring at the blue screen, I could not stop wondering why. Why had I believed I would like this film? Sure, it starred a couple of people I like—Emily Blunt and Jason Segel—and it seemed like an entertaining notion enough, but I don’t normally like rom-coms in the first place. What was it that hooked me in and raised my expectations?
Oh, yes. The association with Bridesmaids. I suppose anything that’s associated with the funniest movie ever made—a movie that finally gets being female and surrounds female friendships rather than the whole “getting the boy” syndrome—is bound to get my attention.
It was a poor association, even if made by the same folks, because The Five Year Engagement was not engaging at all. It was annoying, sometimes gross, and more depressing than anything else. Blunt, typically a seemingly smart young woman, was made to appear quite stupid a few times in the film, while Segel’s character was so one-dimensional—and later, so bland and pathetic that you wonder why they are together in the first place—that it made my eyes burn to watch them. They had more chemistry in Gulliver’s Travels, for Pete's sake! Forget humor, forget romance; there was just this sort of hopelessness that makes you want to turn off the DVD player. I wish that I had.
There were moments—a number of which I could count on a single hand, mind you—that were fun or romantic, but since you’re not connected to the characters, they don’t really matter. And while Blunt’s boss hits on her, Segel finds out and purposefully seeks out a coworker whom he tries to sleep with like an idiot.
And though Blunt is supposed to be a successful psychologist, it turns out that she is being promoted over and over again because her boss wants to sleep with her—while Segel is supposedly so talented he deserves to be a chef of his own restaurant on his own merits. These two parallels create a completely unnecessary sexism in the film, which is just annoying and stupid on top of its pathetic nature.
It really is too bad, because I could have thought of dozens of other directions for this script that would have been much more enjoyable. I am sure you could, too, so don’t bother with the movie. Write your own instead; it will be much more fun.
Dean Winchester is a Jerkface
I’m not going to stop watching Supernatural. Yes, there’s plenty of misogyny, double standards, pointless plot trends, and other annoyances to go around. Yes, this season has me shouting at Dean during every scene—and though I hope it’s an intentional plot device, I am pretty sure it’s just same old, same old.
Let’s recap, shall we? Sam wanted out of the family business from episode one, yet Dean sort of bullied him back into it, spanning multiple seasons of Sam yearning for a non-hunting life while Dean insisted it was their duty. And when Dean died and went to hell, Sam not only kept hunting—he also tried to rescue Dean to no avail.
Then, when Sam went to hell—in a much worse way than Dean, mind you—Dean moved on. He lived with Lisa for a year, being a father to Ben and pretty much living in paradise. Even though Sam returned—and was even soulless—he tried to leave Dean alone to live his dream.
Now, however, Sam tried to do the same out of loneliness while Dean was in purgatory—and Dean came home furious that he dared to do such a thing! Dean Winchester can do no wrong, and god forbid Sammy try to have a life of his own.
And remember when everyone freaked out when Sam hit his low and opened the gates of Hell by killing Lilith—and before that, screwing that awful demon Ruby? It was perfectly okay that Dean started these events in motion by torturing who knows how many people in Hell, but we must condemn Sam for undoing the final seal when he was trying to do the opposite.
I am so tired of this crap. Dean killed a monster woman who rescued Sam last season in cold blood after she killed to feed her children, but now it’s perfectly fine for Dean to pair up with a bloodsucking vampire. Dean Winchester is a jerkface and I’m sick of him. I don’t care how pretty this boy is; I don’t want to watch him anymore.
I do want to watch Sam, though, even though I’m growing tired of his flashbacks. I hope this season is their last. I used to truly love this show, but it’s gotten ridiculous—even boring—and tiresome. Let’s find the prophet, send all the demons to hell or wherever, and end this whole thing before it gets too painful to watch and my eyes start bleeding.
Lips Touch: Three Times
If you’re an avid reader of YA lit, paranormal or supernatural fiction, or just a fan of good writing, I must implore you to seek out Laini Taylor’s work immediately. I just enjoyed two books of hers—Daughter of Smoke and Bone and Lips Touch: Three Times—and I have to say that I can’t remember the last time I encountered an imagination like hers.
In Lips Touch, Taylor has crafted three separate novellas about three very different worlds, combining mythology, fantasy, and fairy tale weaving together to set up some of the most unique, satisfying reads you’ll ever come across. The first story is an homage to Christina Rossetti’s “Goblin Market,” while the second is a trip to the underworld where a human barters with a demon for the lives of children—and deals curses as a result. The third is a crazily creative venture into the realm of shape shifting demons, their creation, and their curse. As if these premises weren’t enticing enough, each is prefaced by some gorgeous artwork as well—and what I love about the art is that it doesn’t give the story away. What you’re looking at happened before the story, so you’re not having a story ruined by possible spoilers.
You are not promised a happy ending with Taylor’s books—though sometimes you’ll get one. Tragedy lovers will especially love her stories. However, even when endings seem bleak, they are often open, allowing the optimists to dream and create their own ending. What you are promised, however, is a deep colorful culture; the trespassing of time and space and human mortality. Notions of, say, werewolves or angels cannot be taken at face value; they are never what you were raised to think they are. And her writing itself is engrossing, joyous to read—not simply good storytelling, which would be enough, but often poetic, biting, and vibrant.
Forays into Taylor’s worlds are enough fun as they are, but if this woman were to create her own world spanning seven novels featuring the same beloved characters and their growth, I really think she could give JK Rowling a run for her money. I don’t think her happily ever after would be quite the same, of course—but if she were to do such a thing, I would be first in line to buy every copy. The sequel to Smoke and Mirrors has finally been released and that will be my next adventure; I can’t wait!
Wolves of Mercy Falls: Forever
The Wolves of Mercy Falls saga is fully over, which is a shame. It feels like we were only given a glimpse into this secret werewolf world created by Maggie Stiefvater, which is true; we really only get to see about a year—or is it two years?—of Grace and Sam’s lives, which hopefully last for a long time together. But there are so many questions that I have unanswered, and I’m sure you have a lot, too.
Will Grace be cured? Will Sam’s cure eventually run out? Do they go to college together—and what do they do with their lives? With their conditions, can they have children? So many questions! I do think that book three, Forever, though so tragic and bitingly acidic with focuses on Isabel and Cole, was one of the most powerful, a better read than book two—with so much more danger and action.
The confrontation I craved between Grace and her parents—as well as part of what I wanted between Sam and Grace’s thoughtless father—finally happened, and it was almost as satisfying as I dreamed of. Grace finally put them in their place for ignoring her during her whole life and made an ultimatum they could not refuse. Her mom replacing her with a kitten was so telling, too—Sam’s original take on her parents, which I thought to be harsh at first, was spot on. They did care about their daughter, but she was merely an accessory in their busy, heavily personalized lives.
The catharsis in the book will probably haunt some fans; I will not mention what it is here, but some of it did break my heart a bit. A few things did feel quite unresolved, or even simply broken or disjointed—such as the fate of Grace’s friend and fellow turned wolf—but much of it felt as if it naturally flowed from the story of Grace and Sam.
Like book two, I would have loved a bit more interaction between our two heroes—though they way they moved together near the end of the book in a pulse-pounding scene was poetic as ever. Part of Sam’s allure was his care for Grace, his whole anti-Twilight careful yet ardent love for his human girl—and it was slightly missed here, though not nearly as much as I missed it in book two.
So long, Sam and Grace—we will miss you! But I’ve already started reading other books by Stiefvater and can say that I will at least have something new, perhaps even something better, to occupy my reading time…
The Raven Boys
I must confess that I am not even close to finished with Maggie Stiefvater’s The Raven Boys, but I am already more in love with it than I was with any of the books in her Wolves of Mercy Falls series—which is saying a lot, since I love those books. But if you are in love with Stiefvater’s lyrical prose and her lovely characterization, you absolutely must check out The Raven Boys.
The main character in the book, a girl named Blue, is also an incredibly interesting character. She lives in a home filled with psychic women—her mother and aunts and cousins—though she herself isn’t psychic, at least, not in the way they are. But she’s an artist at heart and has talents of her own, and I’m much more attached to her in half of a book than I was to Grace in the other series. (I still love Grace and Sam, of course!)
Midway through the book I’m still discovering new things about these characters, which is such a payoff to readers. The four boys from a school for privileged, rich boys may be privileged or not, but they are definitely something darker than you might expect. No, they aren’t really wizards or monsters—not the inhuman kind—but some of them are already succumbing to their own obsessions, resulting in what must be a ghastly fate. Indeed, the book’s premise is one of their deaths.
The jury is still out on whether or not I actually like the boys. I am definitely intrigued by all of them and their quirks and personalities, but I think they may be too dangerous—perhaps even a bit evil?—for me to actually root for yet. Still, I am riveted and it’s hard to pull myself away. I look forward to reading the rest of this book over the weekend, after which I’ll dive right into another by Stiefvater I’ve got on my shelf—The Scorpio Races. Feel free to post any reviews you have of her works and share them with your fellow Stiefvater fans.
I did notice that this book is labeled as “Book One” of a series on the spine, so I hope there are others. I am just in love with Stiefvater’s work and cannot wait to read all of it. Of course, then there will be the ultimate letdown when I’ve read them all, but I think it will be completely worth it!
No rat race, it's time for a rat nap
Now because the picture is the most adorable rat I've seen in ages (I use to have rats too, amazing pets actually), it made for a cute distraction right? And it gave me a working title WIN WIN! No, this is not about rats so much as it is that need to break away from things for a moment and just unwind and vent.
I write a few blogs, you can guess most of them this week focused on the Disney/Lucasfilm thing happening. Let's face it: I'm a geek and in the business world this is actually a pretty big thing. The thing is, now that this causes major burn out, when there is so much going on in just one little corner of our minds, that has so much to it.
Sure, I could have covered the Hurricane or laughed at the amazingly funny “whoops” moments it's created in the political world. I could have covered my normal array of stupid people doing stupid things stupidly, or bad knock-off items and the likes. The reality is, sometimes a lot going on actually makes it harder to actually do one thing half decently.
That goes for a great many things we do in this world. It's sometimes far more productive to simply sit and let all things be as they should, rather than trying for too much, or in some cases trying at all. There is my cleverly placed Zen minded advice for the week: just sit.
Doctor sets woman on fire during C-section
During my emergency C-section, I went through a lot. My blood pressure was through the roof, thanks to preeclamsia, and my premature baby’s life was on the line. Afterward, when we both made it through, I even had two infections develop—which were also treated by my team. She, in turn, spent three months in the NICU. We had quite an ordeal between us.
However, none of the doctors who worked on saving our lives gave us third degree burns like Kira Reed’s doctor did.
And although her doctor caught her on fire during her delivery with an antiseptic and gave her the burns, a New York court ruled that he was not responsible. Right, because if someone catches you on fire, it’s totally not their fault! It’s your fault for being in the room with that person to begin with. Didn’t you know that already?
Take it from me, ladies. Don’t have anyone deliver your baby, ever, just in case they set you on fire. Because then it would be your fault, not yours. It’s better to just squat and let the baby come out on a trampoline. That way you won’t accidently expose yourself, or your child, to an obstetric arsonist on accident.
What does the buy-out do to Star Wars games in the works?
While everyone all over the net is up in arms about the buy-out, what's going to happen with the announcement of more films, how will they treat the lore and what does this mean for the EU (which apparently George touched the EU more than people know- remember Coruscant did not exist until Timothy Zhan wrote it in the Heir to the Empire book series)? Others brought up more potential issues - what about the games?This would most heavily be directed at the current MMO "The Old Republic," by Lucas Arts and Bioware/EA, with a concern to the much darker and very adult-driven bounty hunter tale. “1313" currently in production. Very little has come from this, other than knowing that a Lucasfilm buy-out means Lucas Arts as well- and that means a possible impact on games.
Personally I doubt there is much to worry about. If anything, Disney may very well desire to pull its weight and lend the game studios more help. As for playing down the content in 1313, again I doubt there is much to be concerned with. Disney has a good track record of letting their IPs retain their identities.
One needs look only at Marvel Comics. It's a good idea to look at the Walt Disney company and what they already own, and look at the companies owned BY the different Disney owned companies. Yes, that's a headache to consider but trust me, it makes more sense when you actually see the “company maps” broken out like a grid.
Facts about rape
So if we’ve learned anything during this election season, it’s that rape is a gift from God, that women’s bodies mysteriously shut down and do not allow themselves to become pregnant during “legitimate” rape, and that incest is, like, really rare—right?
Actually, the only thing I’ve learned is that there are a lot of idiots out there who think they are experts on women’s bodies—and God’s thoughts, I suppose—without ever having been a female or, of course, a God. This irony is laughable, but it’s also much worse, considering that these men want to enact laws on our very bodies.I have been following Soraya Chemaly’s informative and vital blogs at HuffPo lately, and this week she released one that includes 50 facts about rape. In this case, you can interpret the word “fact” in its actual sense, meaning something proven or real, and not in the terminology of the typical Republican male, whose interpretation is pretty much “whatever serves my cause.”
Feel free to bookmark this guide and share it with your friends—particularly the ones who plan on voting Republican this fall or the ones who own a uterus and would like to keep the government, and any other unwanted persons, out of it.
Romney’s history of undermining gay rights
He likes to hide behind a smokescreen of political promises, but history has shown that Mitt Romney has no love of rights when it comes to the LGBT community. When, in 2003, the state of Massachusetts decided to legalize gay marriage, Romney put his nose into the business and made attempts to screw things up bureaucratically.
Since same-sex couples could now have children, there needed to be a slight change in birth certificates. Instead of listing the “father” of the child, the initial proposal was to list the “father or second parent”. Romney, governor at the time, felt that this was attacking his religious values, however, and instead implemented a complicated process that proved to be little more than harassment.
He decided that each case of same-sex parentage needed to be reviewed individually by lawyers and then “approved.” If approved, the next step was to manually cross out the word “father” and write in “second parent”. This all seems rather harmless at first glance, aside from an annoying bureaucratic hurdle, but in reality there are a lot more legal implications to the process.
In addition to being time consuming and expensive for taxpayers, it also delayed the processing of birth certificates. By law they need to be taken care of within 10 days, but the legal formality was taking much longer than that. Manually writing on a birth certificate also means that the legal document has been tampered with, creating issues with school registration, getting a passport or a driver’s license, joining the military and registering to vote. This is made all the worse because of the paranoid post-9/11 security measures in place.
Admittedly, having a parent with no biological connection does prove to be a bit complicated, and I’m not sure how that works legally. I’d imagine this is, however, nothing new and there are procedures already in place for cases in which the father on the birth certificate is not the biological one. But Mitt’s abuse of the bureaucracy to create inconvenience for same-sex couples is little more than spite, a religious opinion mixing up with proper law.
Luckily for everyone, the problem was fixed once Romney had left his position as governor. Unfortunately for everyone, he’s now running for office and the threat of even more of these paper-war type tactics looms on the horizon should he be elected.