Rick Perry Hates The Poor, Bachmann vs. The Environment, Ron Paul Says Disaster Victims "Too Dependent" On Relief

"Mine's smaller!" "No mine is!" You may not hear this on the elementary school playground, but you'll certainly hear it on the Republican side of the political one. Three of the four leading Republican candidates are taking shots at government programs and agencies in an effort to "out little" one another on their limited government stances. Unfortunately for them, their platform seems to be losing steam. A recent poll by Associated Press-GfK finds that public opinion is moving steadily toward a majority in favor of raising taxes with cutting spending, and particularly among Independents who believe that tax revenue hikes should have a higher priority. Obviously, this is not in keeping with the GOP fixation on limited government. That said, the Grand Ole Partisans seem more concerned with out-limiting one another than with paying attention to the constituency.

Michelle Bachmann Vs. The Environment. If Michelle Bachmann and Mother Nature got in a fight, who do you think would win? Bachmann has said at several points along the campaign trail that if she were elected, the Environmental Protection Agency would "turn out the lights and lock its doors". Though she concentrates most of her criticism on the EPA's regulations of private businesses, evidently she would also like to end its monitoring of navigable water-ways, drinking water supplies, and smog and other urban pollution. I imagine a world with Bachmann in charge would look something like 19th century London; all industrial smoke and sooty children with missing teeth. She's gone further, however, criticizing the environmental movement as a whole. "We are the king daddy dogs when it comes to energy," she contends. "The radical environmentalists have demanded that we lock up all our energy resources. President Bachmann will take that key out of the door. I will unlock it," she stated according to the Huffington Post. Of course, nowhere in her speech was there mention of renewable energy, only fossil fuels, which the Great Energy Liberator will "unlock" by disbanding the EPA and, what, arresting environmentalists? She did contradict her "limited government" sermon, probably without realizing it, in saying that she "would consider" raising the minimum wage from its woefully unlivable rate of $7.25/hr. My guess is she gets a little heat from the Teapublicans and walks it back in a week.

Paul Believes In Being Strong Swimmers. Ron Paul took some swings at the Federal Emergency Management Agency yesterday, saying that FEMA is creating undue reliance on the federal government. "It's a system of bureaucratic central-economic planning, which is a fallacy that is deeply flawed. So no, you don't get rid of something like that in one day," he said on NBC. Paul envisions phasing out FEMA in stages, beginning with ending emergency appropriations for disaster relief. This comes on the heels of an announcement by House Majority Leader Eric Cantor that any emergency relief funds would need to be offset by spending cuts somewhere else, a plan that has been called "sinful" by House Democrats.  Ron Paul has been running a platform of limited government for decades, a dyed-in-the-wool Libertarian forced to wear Republican stripes in order to being his ideology to Washington. Unfortunately, despite his record and street-cred, he seems unable to "out-little" other fresher Republican candidates that have been good on the rhetoric of limited government, but don't have the record to back it up.

"Let them eat cake": That brings us to Rick Perry, Texas Governor and self-described maker-of-the-inconsequential-federal-government. Perry came out with a book in 2010 called Fed Up!, a ranty manifesto for the modern Teapublican that outlines his belief that Social Security is a governmental "Ponzi scheme". Last week Perry's spokespeople seemed to be walking back those controversial statements. However, today, seemingly signaling some miscommunication or disagreement in the Perry camp, he said Social Security was a "monstrous lie" to young Americans. In his book, Perry said that program was set up "at the expense of respect for the Constitution and limited government." In addition, Perry would like to abolish food stamps, offering no other explanation than to call them a "symbol of the problem". In other news, Perry's parents considered "Louis 14th" before settling on "Rick".