Asking for help when recovering from an addiction

If you've been getting along all by yourself, in your addiction, we know those habits can be hard to break. But at the same time, if we really want to keep from getting too hungry, angry, lonely or tired, we have to ask for help. But how do you do that if you're brand new and don't have those support-seeking skills?

First of all, start small. Now I know “start small” is the first step of pretty much everything from learning to scuba dive to building turtle juggling skills, but even if “start small” is not altogether original, it is pretty useful.

If you aren’t accustomed to asking your friends and family for help, it probably will be uncomfortable at first. So asking a very close friend for a very easy favor is a great first step, almost like practice.

If you can ask your best friend for a small favor, then expand the exercise by making a similar request to someone who you are not quite as close to. Or if asking anyone for any kind of help feels really hard, ask yourself “When have I been able to ask for help? Who was I able to ask? What was it about the circumstances that made it possible?”

Hint: A circumstance in which almost everyone accepts help is when they need someone to listen to them. So if you’ve vented to a friend lately, guess what, you CAN accept help. Maybe that friend who you vented to can be someone who you would feel comfortable helping you in other ways as well.