Sarah Palin's Big Book Deal

It could hardly escape our notice here at Realbook.com that where Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin goes, the printed page follows. Other than the enormous amount of ink spilled on Palin every day in the media, there have already been the obligatory instant biographies soon to hit the shelves. Today we learn that infamous Palin satirist Tina Fey has landed a book deal at a healthy $5-6 million. Naturally the buzz about this is that Fey's excellent Palin impression had much to do with this deal (never mind that she has been a well respected rising star for years now). All of this just makes us wonder how soon we can expect to hear of a book deal for Palin herself. Obviouly, a McCain/Palin loss would be much more likely to produce such a deal much much sooner. But we wonder what would Palin the author sound like - we can only hope that the widely spread Palin-doodles are no preview.

Barbie for President: Move Over Sarah Palin, you got some competition

Caribou Barbie may be a hockey mom, former mayor of Wasilla, governor of Alaska, card-carrying NRA member, beauty pageant contestant, vice-presidential candidate and avid hunter, but that's just chump change compared to Barbie. Why is Barbie the better choice? Politically speaking, Barbie has much more experience in this field than any of the candidates running for office. In fact, this is Barbie's second run for Presidency, she ran in 1992 and 2004, but was did not win, no doubt due to the prevalent sexism in politics. When Barbie ran for President years ago it was inconcievable that such an attractive woman could win, not to mention the smear campaign brought on against her that portrayed her as a palstic bimbo. Because beauty and brains are not compatible right? Barbie also has more foreign policy experience than Mrs. Palin. She was an Ambassador for world peace in 1986, and a UNICEF Summit Diplomat in 1990. Caribou Barbie didn't even have a passport until 2007. Not only that, Barbie is an excelllent communicator, she is tri-lingual, she had a short stint as Spanish language teacher(2001) and as a sign-language teacher(1999). Sarah Palin boasts of being commander of the Alaska National Guard, but Barbie not only is a veteran of the Gulf War, she has held positions as officer in the US Marine Corps and the Navy, as well as being a jet pilot for the Air Force. Take that Caribou Barbie! Barbie has also worked in public service having held positions as a firefighter(1995), police office(1993) and lifeguard(1994). If you are worried about the current state of our public education, Barbie understands. She's got years of experience as an elementary school teacher and as a swim instructor. She knows the system is broken and she's prepared to do what she can for the future of our children. And if ANYONE is qualified to talk about health care reform it would be Barbie. She knows the intricacies of the medical industry intimately having been employed as a nurse(1961), surgeon(1973), medical doctor(1988), pediatrician(1994) and dentist(1997). Barbie knows how to work hard for her money. She wasn't always a princess and fashion model. Barbie has worked in the food industry like many of us and knows the value of a hard-earned buck. She's been a waitress and a McDonald's cashier; she understands the struggle of the working poor. Barbie, if anything is over-qualified for this position, and this is probably why she is viewed as a threat by so many people. But there is hope for a brighter, sparklier tomorrow and Barbie is the one who can get the job done. Vote Barbie for President 2008!

whoever wrote about Tony's Oreo Buddy

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FM700 gate opener

I like to buy an automactic gate opener for my gate. The best price I found so far is on www.gatecrafters.com. FM700, about $430. Does any one have the same opener? Is it good? Is the price good? thanks for help. Matt

Hello, My Friends!

Tuesday October 7th

11:15PM

Dear Diary,

Beautiful, darling wife Cindy suggested I keep a diary, as to record my “inner turmoil” during this “physically and emotionally depleting time.” Took this suggestion as sign I needed to pour out her glass of “ice water” (really, who does she think she’s fooling, bless her); if she thinks this campaign is physically and emotionally depleting, she hasn’t heard enough about the time I spent in Hanoi. Ironic, considering the rest of America keeps telling me shut up about it.

But after careful reflection, decided keeping a diary might not be bad idea after all. Memory seems to be going just a tad these days, having a written record may be useful in composing the memoirs. In other news, second debate was tonight! Not much to report, as both sides agreed on lip-synching to pre-recorded campaign stump footage. Voices too hoarse due to the wear and tear of incessant mudslinging. Don’t think American people noticed we didn’t say anything new, as they were too distracted by my fabulous hair and shockingly youthful appearance.

Slight brouhaha about me calling Mr. Community-Organizer a name that implied “disdain”. Puh-LEASE! That man went to Harvard; they pretty much invented disdain. Sure it will blow over quickly.

Well my friends, this is the Maverick, over and out!

John

Originally appeared in The Secret Diary of John McCain

Air Traffic Control School

My son is going in the Air Force in a couple of months. He is supposed to attend the air traffic control school. His recruiter says his school is only 2 months long. Doesn't seem right to me, does anyone know where I can find out more information. I want to make sure he is getting the straight scoop.

what to feed an older horse

Hi i have an older mare that is 24. I am not sure on what to feed her so i am sure she is getting enough proteins and whatnot in her daily feed. If anyone has suggestions i would greatly appreciate it

hydrocodone339..thank-you

Thank-you for your supportive notes, I was wondering have you received word from this company, stating they were backlogged and how soon will they have things in order once again..I have written to Tamara Walters and called no one will return calls, One order I need to cancel this is a little frustratin..Any ideas...thanks for your time

Who is this Pundits person anyway?

Tuesday, October 7th

9:25PM

Dear Diary,

Watched debate tonight, thank God I didn’t have to deal with all those tough Internet questions. Pundits said that Barack won, but must be lying as am pretty darn sure I won own debate last week using same statements and opinions. Who is this Pundits person anyway?

Intrigued by John’s comment about hair transplants. Will bring up idea in next meeting as have heard attractive candidates get more votes. Have told John hundreds of times how comb-over is ruining poll results as is universally-acknowledged truth that all women hate comb-overs. Will show him picture of future son-in-law Levi as proof of potential if had more hair. Also, so looking forward to having such a handsome young man in the family.

Love yah!

Sarah

Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin

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