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Hello, my kitty is about seven months old, and he's always been very playful, and I love that about him, but recently his playful nips on my arm are turning into hard bites that leave marks. It's even gotten so bad that on occasions, when he's too playful, he bites my face. I need this to stop, but I don't want to discourage him to play with me. Any suggestions? This is my first cat, so I don't even know if this is normal. Please help!

Thursday, October 9^th

6:06AM

Dear Diary,

Cindy says I need to stop complaining about Liberal Media Elite (direct quote: “OH be quiet, you crotchety old geezer,” then she mumbled something about hair plugs, but didn’t have my hearing aid in). But how can I keep quiet when media is just SO unfair?? Quite tired of them questioning choice of Sexy Sarah Governor Palin as running mate. Want to debunk prevailing theories concerning her selection:

1) Am not senile. New memory and energy supplements working quite well, thank you. Fingers crossed can hold out on dementia till elected to second term, then mental condition can deteriorate at will. And bonus: can claim to be following tactics of Ronald Reagan!

2) Was not chasing dissatisfied Hillary supporters; in fact, assumed choice would further alienate them as Governor Palin clearly ideological opposite of Senator Clinton. Fact that many have flocked to our cause as much mystery to me as anyone.

3) Contrary to popular opinion, we vetted the Governor plenty. I mean, I’d met her. Once. She assured me anyone who came forward with dirt would surely be struck down by Lord and have their blood licked by dogs like Jezebel and King Ahab. Rick Davis skeptical, but convinced him it would be a hit with the evangelicals.

Reason I chose Governor Palin far more simple than Liberal Media Elite makes it out to be. Merely wanted eye candy while campaigning (I mean, have you SEEN state Joe Lieberman is in lately? Would you want to see that as soon as you got to work every day? Man could use a facelift. Must remind Cindy to give him number of her plastic surgeon, who did spectacular job on hers. Both of them). But I digress. Unfortunately also forgot hearing aid at initial meeting, so failed to realize Governor incapable of stringing together coherent thought without 24 hour prep team or pronouncing the "g" at end of words. Ah well. Currently keeping her locked in safe room between appearances to minimize damage.

In any case, selection was unexpected and, if I do say so myself, very Mavericky.

Maverick, over and out.

John

Originally posted in The Secret Diary of John McCain

Friday, October 10th 12:30am Dear Diary, Have decided to start own diary after hearing about Barack’s. Heard his is guarded by a password, but that’s nothing that a Harvard grad can’t figure out. Surely, some combination of “hope” and “change” can unlock its secrets. Plus, I deserve a bit of privacy after being vetted more closely than Sarah Palin. To begin…Woken up by Malia crying because everyone knows names of Sarah's children, but no one knows about her and Sasha. Explained it was because of tender age, but was countered with argument that Bristol isn't much older. Had no response, so am thinking of ways to get media attention for children without resorting to teen pregnancy or alcoholism. If only were old enough for drug addiction as have heard is effective way of getting attention. Perhaps fashion line instead? Will run idea by David. Watched the clip of myself on The Daily Show last night. Surprised to find Jon Stewart so short. Good thing Barack is tall… Must say, I sounded great and looked very presidential in my blue suit. Will remember this outfit during my own presidential campaign. Will remind Barack how much I talk him up when it’s my turn to run, and his turn to become the spousal support figure. Considering Hillary for VP, as her husband also helped campaign for her. And, she did leave those 18,000 cracks in the glass ceiling. Two women would certainly shatter that glass. Will wait to broach idea to Hillary until Barack is elected. Can’t have the media ruin this one… Yours always, Michelle Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Michelle Obama