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Monday, October 13th

1:22AM

Dear Diary,

Up late writing next inspirational speech. Reminded by speech writers that must be avoid being too inspirational and inadvertently inspiring mob violence. Have heard Secret Service not too happy about mob violence these days.

Finished first draft. Will bring crowd to knees, though not in creepy exorcism-type way like in YouTube video of priest and Palin. Speech is so brilliant that nearly cried while writing, so read aloud to Michelle in hopes of impressing her and making up for argument over behavior at last debate. Also inspired tears, though apparently was not because of beautiful eloquence of writing but because of imagined masses of alcohol-related deaths as listeners played drinking game with words “hope” and “change.” Made me take out almost all inspirational keywords.

But what we know—what we have seen—what we hope—is that America can change. That is the true changing genius of this hopeful nation. What we have already achieved through change and hope gives us more hope—the audacity to hope for change—for what we can hopefully change and must achieve tomorrow.

It requires all hopeful Americans to realize that your hopes and dreams do not have to come at the expense of my hopes and dreams; that investing in changing the health, welfare and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately and hopefully help all of America change and prosper.

I would not be running for president if I didn't believe with all the hope in my heart that this is exactly what the change that the vast majority of Americans want for this hopeful and changeable country. This union may never be perfect and may always need change, change spurred by hope, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected through hope and change.

At least lack of change in polls good news. Still in lead!

Hopefully yours,

Barack

Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Barack Obama

Sunday, October 12th

11:14PM

Dear Diary,

Still furious over e-mail hacking. That littleâ??I can't even say it. Thought password completely secure, but apparently â??missalaska1984â? not as difficult to guess as would have expected. At least they didnâ??t find the e-mails to Levi that talked about that oneâ??

John walked in while I was in the middle of inscribing rage into diary. Confused for moment as John generally in bed by 8PM except for debate nights, but apparently sleep was disrupted by Secret Service-related nightmares. Asked what he would do in these circumstances. After 20 minute explanation of concept of ‘e-mail hacking,’ finally understood and said that once he’d been in a similar situation when “an unruly young person” asked if it was problem that he was “like, really old.” John got out of it by saying, “Thanks for the question, you little jerk. You’re drafted.” Briefly explored possibility of draft for David Kernell, but trust federal courts will take care of it.

Wanted to send e-card to Levi as congratulations for gettinâ?? married early and avoidinâ?? dangerous and pervertinâ?? college experience leadin' to depraved future life as Yahoo e-mail account hacker, but laptop has been confiscated due to new restrictions on Internet use.

Still have only New York Times to read.

Love yah!

Sarah

Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin

Sunday, October 12th 11:02pm Dear Diary, Well, I rocked my speech in Scranton. They loved me. Of course, I had a tough act to follow with Bill and Hillary Clinton giving the preceding speeches. Especially Hillary. That speech was vice-presidential. Presidential, in fact. Can’t help but wonder how this campaign would be going if Hillary was running for president. Wonder if she would have picked me to be a Vice-President? I’m just glad to be on the ticket. One way or another. But my speech was amazing. And if it doesn’t help to sway Pennsylvanians, or inspire them to persuade their undecided friends and family… I just don’t see how that can’t happen. Come on, these guys are smarter than that! These are real people, dealing with real problems, and I understand them. Hell, I was from Pennsylvania! If Pennsylvania goes Republican… Well, it can’t. I can’t imagine how anyone with family members fighting overseas can vote to keep them in harms way. Especially my son… I can’t lose another son. I just don’t think I can take that… Jill looked gorgeous tonight, as always. And she's brilliant too. Wow, what a package deal! Funny that both John and I have younger, good-looking wives. But at least mine looks human and isn't addicted to pills. Cindy does dress well, anyone can admit that. But she looks so ice cold. Funny she’s still with John too… You’d think she’d have left him by now for a younger, more attractive guy with his best years yet to come. But perhaps she’s just waiting it out at this point. Well, I need to start brainstorming for this next speech. Until next time, Joe Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Joe Biden

Sunday, October 12 10:13am Dear Diary, Well, the election is 23 days away, which means that weâ??re entering the home stretch. Good thing, too. I can tell Sasha and Malia are tired of life on the campaign trail, and just want our family life to get back to normal. Though it will be interesting to see how normal family life can be in the White Houseâ?¦ Went to the gym yesterday. Grabbed a magazine with some gossip about Palin advertised on the cover. Looked interesting and probably all true, so obviously I wanted to read it. But somebody had ripped out all the pages with her in it! Couldnâ??t believe it! And was seriously disappointed, since I was looking forward to some satisfyingly scandalous stories. And who rips out pages of a magazine?! Thatâ??s desperation right there. Canâ??t stand to read the truth. Resorting to last ditch attempts to shield this information from the public. But itâ??s getting out anyway. Ha! Read in the New York Times about how Palin abused her power when she fired that police officer. Incredible that she’s actually running for president. And finally the media is reporting the stories more fairly. Seems they were leaning to the right for so long… I’m relieved that they’re reporting about McCain’s vetting process of Palin (or lack thereof), and the way he condones these racist attacks. This information needs to get out if voters can being to call themselves “informed.” Honestly, how can McCain defend Palin? I was vetted more closely than she was! My daughters were vetted more closely than she was! At least they can name a newspaper or magazine that reports the news… I bet Palin just reads Cosmo anyway. Can’t believe anyone is actually considering her. I would make a better vice president than her – and I haven’t even served in office…yet. Yours always, Michelle Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Michelle Obama