Dear Dave: I didn't have to show up at all, you little jerk

Submitted by beatriz on 10/17/08 1:05pm

Friday October 17th

8:25PM

Dear Diary,

Forced by Rick to appear on Late Night with Letterman and apologize for skipping previously scheduled appearance, as absence somehow presented "deep insult" to public. It seems skipping Letterman of more consequence to American People than solving financial crisis, or zipping over to Miss Alaska Governor Palin’s interview with Katie couric to give Sarah new cue cards before she destroyed campaign altogether.

Am suspicious Obama got wind of my Joe the Plumber plant and replaced Letterman with plant of his own, as interview was toughest grilling I’ve had since Hanoi; in fact, not even well placed joke about prisoner of war torture could defuse unconcealed resentment. I wish luck to any woman who stands him up on a date. Too bad Letterman too old to have drafted…

Lots of questions about some folks getting overexcited at Republican rallies—completely uncalled for, no worse than what they’re shouting at Obama rallies and Madonna concerts these days. And grilled to high heaven about Gov. Palin. Letterman suspicious I won’t let her appear on his show. Find it insulting to be accused of micromanaging running mate, and it’s not like I don’t let her out of holding cell sometimes. In fact, she’s even doing Saturday Night Live this week (equipped with her own staff of writers, strictly instructed not to let her say anything not on list of quota words, of course).

And like I told Letterman, Reagan had no experience in international affairs either before assuming presidency. Couldn’t even see Russia from his house!

Maverick, over and out.

John

No Subject

Submitted by mous on 10/17/08 12:55pm
does anyone know canindale's web site address

Top Five Things That Are Wrong with Me, According to Michelle

Submitted by mous on 10/17/08 12:29pm

Friday, October 17th 10:27AM

Dear Diary,

After breakfast this morning, Michelle handed me list of faults. Said sheâ??d written it at Jon Stewart's suggestion, but wanted to wait until after last debate so as â??not to crush your fragile ego.â? Ha. As if she doesnâ??t know that messiahâ??s ego cannot be crushed.

Top Five Things That Are Wrong with My Husband By Michelle Obama (Commentary by Barack)
1. Barack uses the words â??hopeâ? and â??changeâ? too much in his campaign. (Completely untrue! Studies show that word choice is everything and that audiences respond best to repeated statements. John even complimented me on my eloquence at last debate.)
2. Barack can be too nice. (Suspect Michelle still upset over hand-shaking incident. Not my fault that Cindy is lovely, hospitable lady who was anxious to shake hand of messiah.) 3. Barack has yet to bring up how Michelle would make a better vice president than Sarah. (Have already explained that choosing family members will lead to allegations of nepotism and am trying to stay away from any words ending in â??-ism.â?) 4. Barack’s hair is beginning to gray. (Michelle should be grateful for this as no longer look like overgrown schoolboy and instead like aging and prematurely grey schoolboy.)
5. Barack could do more to show that heâ??s a family man. (Not my fault that neither Malia nor Sasha managed to get media attention! Will attempt to arrange teenage pregnancy, alcoholism, and/or special needs like autism before election day.)
At least didn’t bring up Malia’s dress at the Convention. Apparently dress has something called “spaghetti straps” that are “not appropriate for young children.” Still don’t understand how pasta is related to clothing, but have been expressly forbidden from taking girls shopping without proper supervision.Also, just rewatched speech at memorial dinner last night. Am hilarious. Even better than being ahead in polls.
Hopefully yours, Barack
Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Barack Obama

Can Late-Night Talk Walk the Walk?

Submitted by beatriz on 10/17/08 12:09pm
Friday, October 17 9:45am Dear Diary, The results of Joe the Plumber's authenticity are as much as we all expected. Not only is he not a licensed plumber, his name isn’t even Joe – it’s Samuel. Should have known that a real Joe wouldn’t have interfered with the entire debate. And he owes back taxes. Watched the clip of myself on the Jay Leno show this morning. Sure sounded good, except for the gaffe, which I couldn’t help but laugh about. In a different speech, I actually said that the number one issue facing the middle class was a three-letter word: jobs. Oops. At least the audience could see that I didn’t take myself too seriously. But I did have to talk about Joe the Plumber and Joe Six-Pack. After all, they’re hoarding all the media attention, and one of them isn't necessarily a real person! I want some publicity too! John does a good job of cracking jokes in public, and I want the opportunity to do the same. Will discuss more ways to put myself out there with David… Also watched the clip of John McCain on the David Letterman show. Letterman was great. Definitely exceeded my expectations in the way he grilled McCain. Of course, he had been poking fun at McCain for skipping out on his other scheduled appearance. And John’s excuse: “I messed up.” Clearly. And in my opinion, he had to go back for the second interview. But John’s lucky he got the second chance. Wonder if a late night talk show host would give me another shot if I pulled the same stunt. Undecided if talk shows are an effective way to campaign, especially when the talk show host attacks the candidate, as was the case with David Letterman and John. Probably still a safe option for a likeable guy like me. Until next time, Joe

Legalities of Buying Meds On-Line

Submitted by mous on 10/17/08 10:32am
Hi, I am new to the postings, but want to understand the legalities of buying medications on the internet...it seems that there are so many sites, that you could almost purchase anything now...anyone out there can help me?

doubledippiing

Submitted by mous on 10/17/08 10:07am
Has anyone ever ordered from a sight and then ordered from another before the 25 day waiting period, I am going on vacation and I need a refill I know this is double dipping but only within like three day of the day I can refill. I would like to place an order from another sight but I do not want to get into trouble...Any thoughts

interesting in modeling

Submitted by mous on 10/17/08 9:32am
I have not had too much professional experience with modeling....but what little I had...I enjoyed immensely. I am hoping to begin modeling some more. If you can help me that would be great! I am 18, of Hawaiian/Chinese/Philipino/Irish ethnicity, (unfortunately I'm only) 5'1", waist: 28", hips: 30", breast: 32B, I currently weigh 104lbs.

thermostat

Submitted by mous on 10/17/08 9:23am
pls can anyone help I need to change a thermostat in a 1991 honda civic and I don't know how pictures please if you have them thankyou in advance

Data Entry Transcription posted

Submitted by mous on 10/17/08 8:24am
I have posted new data entry/customer service and transcription jobs and/or companies that hire home workers on my site at http://www.keen.com/Workathomesecretary If you would like to speak with me personally, please check my schedule availability. Please have a pen and pad ready to take down information stated on recording. Thanks again. Barbara

Top Five Things That Are Wrong with Me, According to Michelle

Submitted by beatriz on 10/17/08 8:21am

Friday, October 17th 10:27AM

Dear Diary,

After breakfast this morning, Michelle handed me list of faults. Said sheâ??d obama-appears-on-the-daily-show/" target="_blank">written it at Jon Stewart's suggestion, but wanted to wait until after last debate so as â??not to crush your fragile ego.â? Ha. As if she doesnâ??t know that messiahâ??s ego cannot be crushed.

Top Five Things That Are Wrong with My Husband By Michelle Obama (Commentary by Barack)
1. Barack uses the words â??hopeâ? and â??changeâ? too much in his campaign. (Completely untrue! Studies show that word choice is everything and that audiences respond best to repeated statements. John even complimented me on my eloquence at last debate.)
2. Barack can be too nice. (Suspect Michelle still upset over hand-shaking incident. Not my fault that Cindy is lovely, hospitable lady who was anxious to shake hand of messiah.) 3. Barack has yet to bring up how Michelle would make a better vice president than Sarah. (Have already explained that choosing family members will lead to allegations of nepotism and am trying to stay away from any words ending in â??-ism.â?) 4. Barack’s hair is beginning to gray. (Michelle should be grateful for this as no longer look like overgrown schoolboy and instead like aging and prematurely grey schoolboy.)
5. Barack could do more to show that heâ??s a family man. (Not my fault that neither Malia nor Sasha managed to get media attention! Will attempt to arrange teenage pregnancy, alcoholism, and/or special needs like autism before election day.)
At least didn’t bring up Malia’s dress at the Convention. Apparently dress has something called “spaghetti straps” that are “not appropriate for young children.” Still don’t understand how pasta is related to clothing, but have been expressly forbidden from taking girls shopping without proper supervision.Also, just rewatched speech at memorial dinner last night. Am hilarious. Even better than being ahead in polls.
Hopefully yours, Barack

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