A new type of socialism

Submitted by beatriz on 10/19/08 8:25am

Sunday, October 19th

11:23PM

Dear Diary,

Campaign worried over accusations of socialism. At first was unconcerned as Americans notoriously uneducated and likely to believe ‘socialism’ a reference to the celebrity party scene—and everyone loves people who are social!—but soon realized ‘socialism’ is on Wikipedia and therefore can be read by millions of quasi-educated citizens.

Current definition, according to Wikipedia:

Socialism refers to a broad set of economic theories of social organization advocating social or collective ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods, and the creation of an egalitarian society where labor is the main source of wealth. Modern socialism originated in the late nineteenth-century working class political movement. Karl Marx posited that socialism would be achieved via class struggle and a proletarian revolution which represents the transitional stage between capitalism and communism.

As Wikipedia is open to all writers and editors, decided to slightly edit definition of socialism. No big changes, just a few new words here and there to reassure voters.

Revised definition:

Socialism refers to a brilliant set of economic theories of social organization advocating for equal ownership and control of the means of production and distribution of goods, inspiring hope and change and the creation of an egalitarian society where China is no longer the main source of wealth. Obamian socialism originated during the early twenty-first century as a response to trickle-down economics, a type of economic policy that was so leaky that even Joe the Plumber couldn’t fix it. Geniuses like Albert Einstein and Oscar Wilde (before Wilde was gay, of course, as socialism does not like to take stands on controversial issues like gay marriage) have written about socialism and subsequently endorsed its founder, Barack Obama, for president.

Much better. Will edit Wikipedia article immediately. Hope that socially conservative, McCarthyist, Republican Wikipedia-addicts will not notice change.

On related note, am loved by both proletariat and non-proletariat! Colin Powell announced endorsement and am still ahead in polls!

Hopefully yours,

Barack

Husbands on TV

Submitted by michelle o. on 10/19/08 7:20am
Sunday, October 19 9:45am Dear Diary Sighâ?¦ Another Saturday night passed without a date. Isnâ??t quite as big of a deal now that Iâ??m married, but itâ??s high time Barack took me out. And not just for some campaign-publicity stunt. Decided to watch appearances of Biden and McCain on Jay Leno and David Letterman. Well, I guess Biden did ok on Leno. He made such a big deal about how Joe the Plumber and Joe Six-Pack were taking up too much media attention, and that he wanted more. Well, look. At least heâ??s on Jay Leno! I certainly havenâ??t had the chance to go on Jay Leno. And in my opinion, Joeâ??s gotten a lot more media attention than I have, so why is he complaining? Honestly. But the way that McCain talked about how “proud” he was of Sarah Palin… Well, I just thought that was insulting for any woman! She’s going out and doing her job, and McCain has to talk about how proud he is, as if she couldn’t do it otherwise? It’s very clear how chauvinistic McCain is, even when talking about his own running mate. I certainly would not put up with that. At least Barack knows he could never refer to me in terms like that. True, Barack said, “Isn’t she great?” But that was nothing that signified that Barack was surprised that I could pull off a great speech. He expected it. Another important difference between Barack and McCain: sexism. After seeing McCain’s attitudes towards women last night and in the debate when discussing a woman’s health, It’s no surprise that McCain was also a womanizer. I wonder why people don’t hype that up more… You’d think it’d be a bigger issue among female voters. Yours always, Michelle Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Michelle Obama

Tiki Jumping @ Donida

Submitted by Anonymous on 10/19/08 7:08am
here he is!

Re: atlanta riding

Submitted by mous on 10/18/08 6:31pm
looking for the best d. hill and freeride around atlanta. anyone? anyone?

Model Search This Saturday

Submitted by mous on 10/18/08 6:05pm
Please try to attend Lot 61 this Saturday Night where we are hosting a model search for fashion designer Antonio Dasilva, as well as a model search for a future swimsuit fashion show. Doors open at 10pm. There will be an Antonio Dasilva fashion show afterwards. Be sure to bring multiple headshots as there will be multiple modeling agencies present that you can meet all night. (Lot 61 is located at 550 West 21st Street between 10th and 11th Aves.) For more information please email: nyclubpromotions@aol.com

New Palin theme song: Alaska Rap or Redneck Woman?

Submitted by sarah p. on 10/18/08 4:19pm
Saturday, October 18th 11:58PM Dear Diary, Saturday Night Live show a success! Showed that Fey woman how to do real comedy when interrupted her fake press conference. Ha. So unrealistic. As if I would ever hold press conference. SNL completely losing touch with reality. On show, liberal elite Baldwin brother mistook me for Tina, but made up for derogatory comments by compliment on attractiveness. As have been telling John for six weeks, attractiveness most important anyway. Really must get John to salon in attempt to reduce “Skeletor” perception in media. Maybe eyeglasses would improve looks? Have heard my glasses have reached out to eyesight-challenged women everywhere, striking blow to glass ceiling. [Mentioned new eyeglass plan to Rick, but was told that ‘glass ceiling’ does not refer to actual eyeglasses. Suspect Rick actually vetoing plan because John insisted on wearing monocle.] Perhaps will adopt Alaska Rap as new theme song, replacing previously first choice of â??Redneck Womanâ?. Off to tour pro-America parts of America, far away from biased anti-America media. Have heard liberal media elite are largely of mixed European heritage and is well-known fact that Europe is communist nation like Russia. Love yah! Sarah Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin

For Sale

Submitted by Anonymous on 10/18/08 3:53pm
Hi, I've got the following OF Breyers for sale. If anyone's interested, please let me know and I can e-mail you the condition and prices.Thanks for looking! #6 FAF, palomino #66 Stud Spider, black app. #92 Belgian, sorrel #97 QH Gelding, chestnut app. #226 SHS, bay app. #711 Breezing Dixie, bay app. Lady Phase SR Sears QH Gelding, palomino SR Sears App. Performance Horse, black w/white blanket

what is a good sugar level?

Submitted by mous on 10/18/08 2:24pm
I have just been diagnosed with diabetes type 2. I am confused about what my sugar level should be when I test through out the day. early morning it is around 150. Sometimes during the day it will go up to around 170 or so and maybe another time it will be 110. It would help me to know what other peoples sugar level runs at different times during the day.

Power of Publicity

Submitted by beatriz on 10/18/08 12:11pm
Saturday, October 18 10:42am Dear Diary, Am greatly looking forward to seeing Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live tonight. Going to be Sarah Palin imitating Tiny Fey mocking Sarah Palin. Should be hilarious. Wish I could be on SNL too, but am relieved to know that they don’t want me to look too bad before election. Unless it’s because they don’t think I’m funny enough, or not a popular enough celebrity… No, that’s ridiculous. I was on the Jay Leno show. And even if they didn’t think I was funny enough, at least people will remember me in a year, since it looks like we’re going to win solidly. I predict that in a year, Sarah Palin will disappear into obscurity. Unless her cases of unethical conduct keep surfacing… But yes, does appear that we’re really going to win this election! Barack had an amazing rally in St. Louis with 100,000 supporters! Have decided I need more noteworthy time in the spotlight, so have devised top ten ways I can get more publicity. Joe Biden’s Top Ten Publicity Stunts 1. Star on SNL. (Realize that Sarah Palin is doing it now, so may use this option in a couple years.) 2. Photographed at Red Carpet After-Party. (Celeb party would add attention, but can’t be seen acting up.) 3. “Biden”: the next Oliver Stone movie. (Must look educated, don’t want to draw comparisons to George Bush.) 4. Adopt African child. (Jill won’t mind since she’s a teacher, but have to make sure kid is true orphan, unlike Madonna’s kid.) 5. Star on TV show. (Imaging self to be the next Tim Gunn of Project Runway. Only problem, need more fashion sense.) 6. Write next landmark bill to be passed by Congress. (Need new idea for bill, since last two big laws were in 1994.) 7. Get photo-op with saved polar bear. (First learn how to tame polar bears.) 8. Convince despotic ruler to step down or reform government. (May actually be harder than it sounds.) 9. Walk in Senior Citizen Walk for Cancer. (Will look younger, fitter, and stronger; but not good publicity to remind people of senior citizen status). 10. Make next big Inconvenient Truth, possibly about foreign relations. (Must make sure it doesn’t look like an Al Gore knock-off). Will look into ways of putting these stunts into action. Until next time, Joe

New model!

Submitted by mous on 10/18/08 12:05pm
Hi. I live in Kansas City, MO. I am 13 years old, 5'5 and 110 pounds. I am interested in becoming a model. E-mil me if you are interested.

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