Don’t worry, Tina—WHEN I become president, I’ll gladly send you to Mars (you too, Colin)
October 19th, 2008
1:43 PM
Dear Diary,
As not a debate night, was unable to force self to stay up late enough to see Governor Palin on Saturday Night Live. Luckily (or unluckily) Daughter Meghan said nearly every website on internets posted video, and was able to pull one up for me this morning.
Sarah strutting around Straight Talk Express like proud Alaskan peacock; is quite taken with popularity and meeting Marky Mark from the Funky Bunch. Don’t get me wrong, SHE did fine; probably her most articulate TV appearance to date. But what she didn’t pick up on is everyone around her on show still making fun of her. Definitely hasn’t learned lesson yet that not all press is good press, especially as most showbusiness controlled by Liberal Media Elite.
Am grateful at least she showed good judgment in refusal to perform choking-on-stereotypes Alaska rap, instead sung by about-to-pop Amy Poehler. Unfortunately am still having to talk her out of adopting it as new theme song (though heaven knows campaign running low on song choices). Also pleased by Governor’s limited screentime with Tina Fey, as Tina’s comments in press exceedingly hurtful. Guess what, Tina? If you’re that ready to leave earth if (when!) I'm elected, I’ll call up some NASA friends and make sure the rocket ship is ready.
Colin Powell announced endorsement of Barack this morning. Was expecting this, despite 25 years of close friendship, inherent camaraderie as men of the military, and fact General Powell is registered Republican and thus betraying his party. Am unconcerned. His support at this key moment would have jeopardized current underdog status. If I know one thing about the American People, I know they love the underdog.
Maverick, over and out.
John
Publicity Stunts
Husbands on TV
Breyer, Stone & Hagen Renaker Models for Sale
~Fashion Models Wanted!! ~
Pain after tooth pulled
ý wann a diabetic girlfriend
Don’t worry, Tina—WHEN I become president, I’ll gladly send you to Mars (you too, Colin)
October 19th, 2008
1:43 PM
Dear Diary,
As not a debate night, was unable to force self to stay up late enough to see Governor Palin on Saturday Night Live. Luckily (or unluckily) Daughter Meghan said nearly every website on internets posted video, and was able to pull one up for me this morning.
Sarah strutting around Straight Talk Express like proud Alaskan peacock; is quite taken with popularity and meeting Marky Mark from the Funky Bunch. Don’t get me wrong, SHE did fine; probably her most articulate TV appearance to date. But what she didn’t pick up on is everyone around her on show still making fun of her. Definitely hasn’t learned lesson yet that not all press is good press, especially as most showbusiness controlled by Liberal Media Elite.
Am grateful at least she showed good judgment in refusal to perform choking-on-stereotypes Alaska rap, instead sung by about-to-pop Amy Poehler. Unfortunately am still having to talk her out of adopting it as new theme song (though heaven knows campaign running low on song choices). Also pleased by Governor’s limited screentime with Tina Fey, as Tina’s comments in press exceedingly hurtful. Guess what, Tina? If you’re that ready to leave earth if (when!) I'm elected, I’ll call up some NASA friends and make sure the rocket ship is ready.
Colin Powell announced endorsement of Barack this morning. Was expecting this, despite 25 years of close friendship, inherent camaraderie as men of the military, and fact General Powell is registered Republican and thus betraying his party. Am unconcerned. His support at this key moment would have jeopardized current underdog status. If I know one thing about the American People, I know they love the underdog.
Maverick, over and out.
John
Originally posted in The Secret Diary of John McCain
Questions for my first press conference
Sunday, October 19th
9:37PM
Dear Diary,
After seeing popularity of Tina’s fake press conference, campaign manager apparently considering allowing me to host real press conference of my own. Have been given list of possible questions and updated list of word and phrase quotas to be met. Spent day scripting eloquent answers to questions of national importance.
Q: In your opinion, what is your greatest accomplishment to date?
A: Besides being Miss Alaska in 1984? Only kidding—that was just my lame attempt at a joke. But seriously, I think the important question here that we’re all waiting to hear the answer to is, “Who is the real Barack Obama?”
Q: If you had the chance to say one thing off-script, what would it be?
A: You know, I’m a Washington outsider. I don’t know what you liberal media elite types mean by all this “scripting” and “off-scripting.” But I do know all about conscripting to protect this great American nation against terrorism and terrorists like Bill Ayers and other Muslims.
Q: Do you now know what a vice president does?
A: I think the real question here is “Who is Barack Obama?”
Q: Why do you think you would be a good vice president?
A: I’m a maverick. As a Washington outsider, I do maverick things for maverick reasons and all you Joe Six Packs and fellow hockey moms out there should understand that, coming from Wasilla Main Street like I do.
Q: How would you differentiate “pro-American” from “anti-American”?
A: Again, I think the real question here is “Who is Barack Obama?”
Q: Do you have any advice for aspiring young female politicians?
A: Now, listen up, all you girls out there, because here’s my advice for becoming a strong political leader: Buy a house on Wasilla Main Street. Practice abstinence before marriage. Marry Joe Six Pack. Become a hockey mom. Stay a Washington outsider. Make maverick-like decisions. And whatever you do, don’t be a terrorist. Or a Muslim. That’s what I call my recipe for success!
Handed list of answers to campaign manager Rick. Face got all red and blotchy, most likely due to astonishment at my cleverness in skillfully weaving in keywords ‘maverick’ and ‘terrorism.’ When could finally speak coherently, he promised to run ideas by others and would “get back to me.”
Still haven’t heard back. Maybe has forgotten. Will ask John.
Love yah!
Sarah