300,000 Free Books for the Community

Submitted by mous on 10/20/08 1:12am
The 2008 Back to School Book Donation will be giving away 300,000 new Random House books to schools, libraries, and literacy organizations serving low-income youths all across the country. Random House is working with a non-profit organization called First Book, whose mission is to give children from low-income families the chance to read and own their first new books. "Reading is a gift that sparks the imagination and opens new doors for children of all ages," said Chip Gibson, president of Random House Children's Books. "Random House is proud to be part of the 2008 Back to School Book donation to help make a lifetime of difference to children in need." The company's website, www.randomhouse.com/kids offers an array of materials and activities free of charge for children, teens, parents and educators. For more information on the U.S. Department of Education and First Book's book donation campaign, visit: www.ed.gov/about/inits/ed/bookcampaign/index.html
For more information on First Book, visit: http://www.firstbook.org/
We think this is a great way to encourage the love of books in kids.   Owning books may seem like something unimportant, especially because of the access most of us have to libraries, but actually being have books of your own cultivates a love and respect for reading and books themselves.  We hope many kids are able to benefit from this program.

Problems using cat door

Submitted by Anonymous on 10/19/08 10:08pm
Max just doesn't seem to get it! We recently installed a new pet door which gives him access to the room that hold his litter box. We've guided him in and out MANY times but he doesn't quite seem to get that he has to use his head to push through the door. After each "guided" push through the door, we reward him verbally and also follow that up with a treat. Once we "help" him into the room, he does his business but will not come out. He'll "paw" at the door, lie down and reach under the door, but will not come out (nor can we bribe him out). Max is almost 11 months old, he can "sit" on command, knows who mamma and daddy are, knows how to fetch his straws, balls, and teddy bear, but poor Max doesn't know how to make his entrance into a room! Does anyone have any training tips, ideas, or advice that may help Max?

meps

Submitted by airforcetalk on 10/19/08 8:47pm
do i have to sign up for the military at meps or can i wait and sign up a different day, what all do i have to sign up for. The most. thanks

kirk=god

Submitted by mous on 10/19/08 6:19pm
anybody hear valley of mysery? man james has changed so much since the "oh yeah yeah" years!!!!

My puppies has worms

Submitted by Anonymous on 10/19/08 5:49pm
I found a litter of puppies that have worms. my dogs have been exposed as well as myself and my 5 month old. Does anyone know whether or not people are suseptible to getting worms from handling them?

Facebook stalking? Real mature, New York Times

Submitted by beatriz on 10/19/08 5:03pm
October 19th, 2008 8:13PM Dear Diary, AM FED UP!!! Will never rag on John again for incessant complaints about liberal media elite. Usually give media benefit of the doubt—mostly due to love for celeb gossip—but yesterday’s New York Times drew line in sand then walked right over it. First of all, Times sank to unprecedented low: using Facebook information to email 16-year-old high school classmate of daughter Bridget soliciting information for article. Really, New York Times, Facebook stalking is new level of journalistic integrity? Entire article sensationalist and quite false. They say J and I spent much time apart like it’s a bad thing. Hasn’t the Times ever heard absence makes heart grow fonder? And assumed Washington wives in 80s snubbed ME because of John’s divorce? Ha! Was not yet 30 and FAR too hot to be associated with frumpy old political wives. Forced to move back to Arizona to have decent competition. Makes me absolutely sick. I’m sure Michelle has skeletons in her socialist closet, and Barack ADMITTED to using drugs. Why isn’t Times writing about the $447.39 in campaign funds she spent on room service snack at the Waldorf? Why aren’t they out there finding his drug dealer?! Oh right, because they endorsed him. Sigh. Suppose this kind of thing comes with territory of being Republican and beautiful. Look at media scrutiny of Sarah. Speaking of, should see if Saturday Night Live appearance has distracted her from cold-shouldering me due to Madonna comments… xoxo cindy

engine turnover

Submitted by mous on 10/19/08 4:52pm
'94 mitsubshi galant 141,000..rain exposure engine tries to turn over..when dry, engine starts.

A new type of socialism

Submitted by mous on 10/19/08 4:31pm

Sunday, October 19th

11:23PM

Dear Diary,

Campaign worried over accusations of socialism. At first was unconcerned as Americans notoriously uneducated and likely to believe ‘socialism’ a reference to the celebrity party scene—and everyone loves people who are social!—but soon realized ‘socialism’ is on Wikipedia and therefore can be read by millions of quasi-educated citizens.

Current definition, according to Wikipedia:

Socialism refers to a broad set of economic theories of social organization advocating social or collective ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods, and the creation of an egalitarian society where labor is the main source of wealth. Modern socialism originated in the late nineteenth-century working class political movement. Karl Marx posited that socialism would be achieved via class struggle and a proletarian revolution which represents the transitional stage between capitalism and communism.

As Wikipedia is open to all writers and editors, decided to slightly edit definition of socialism. No big changes, just a few new words here and there to reassure voters.

Revised definition:

Socialism refers to a brilliant set of economic theories of social organization advocating for equal ownership and control of the means of production and distribution of goods, inspiring hope and change and the creation of an egalitarian society where China is no longer the main source of wealth. Obamian socialism originated during the early twenty-first century as a response to trickle-down economics, a type of economic policy that was so leaky that even Joe the Plumber couldn’t fix it. Geniuses like Albert Einstein and Oscar Wilde (before Wilde was gay, of course, as socialism does not like to take stands on controversial issues like gay marriage) have written about socialism and subsequently endorsed its founder, Barack Obama, for president.

Much better. Will edit Wikipedia article immediately. Hope that socially conservative, McCarthyist, Republican Wikipedia-addicts will not notice change.

On related note, am loved by both proletariat and non-proletariat! Colin Powell announced endorsement and am still ahead in polls!

Hopefully yours,

Barack

Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Barack Obama

Questions for my first press conference

Submitted by sarah p. on 10/19/08 2:54pm

Sunday, October 19th

9:37PM

Dear Diary,

After seeing popularity of Tina’s fake press conference, campaign manager apparently considering allowing me to host real press conference of my own. Have been given list of possible questions and updated list of word and phrase quotas to be met. Spent day scripting eloquent answers to questions of national importance.

Q: In your opinion, what is your greatest accomplishment to date?

A: Besides being Miss Alaska in 1984? Only kidding—that was just my lame attempt at a joke. But seriously, I think the important question here that we’re all waiting to hear the answer to is, “Who is the real Barack Obama?”

Q: If you had the chance to say one thing off-script, what would it be?

A: You know, I’m a Washington outsider. I don’t know what you liberal media elite types mean by all this “scripting” and “off-scripting.” But I do know all about conscripting to protect this great American nation against terrorism and terrorists like Bill Ayers and other Muslims.

Q: Do you now know what a vice president does?

A: I think the real question here is “Who is Barack Obama?”

Q: Why do you think you would be a good vice president?

A: I’m a maverick. As a Washington outsider, I do maverick things for maverick reasons and all you Joe Six Packs and fellow hockey moms out there should understand that, coming from Wasilla Main Street like I do.

Q: How would you differentiate “pro-American” from “anti-American”?

A: Again, I think the real question here is “Who is Barack Obama?”

Q: Do you have any advice for aspiring young female politicians?

A: Now, listen up, all you girls out there, because here’s my advice for becoming a strong political leader: Buy a house on Wasilla Main Street. Practice abstinence before marriage. Marry Joe Six Pack. Become a hockey mom. Stay a Washington outsider. Make maverick-like decisions. And whatever you do, don’t be a terrorist. Or a Muslim. That’s what I call my recipe for success!

Handed list of answers to campaign manager Rick. Face got all red and blotchy, most likely due to astonishment at my cleverness in skillfully weaving in keywords ‘maverick’ and ‘terrorism.’ When could finally speak coherently, he promised to run ideas by others and would “get back to me.”

Still haven’t heard back. Maybe has forgotten. Will ask John.

Love yah!

Sarah

Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin

Publicity Stunts

Submitted by joe six pack on 10/19/08 2:25pm
Sunday, October 19 8:40pm Dear Diary, Am relieved to see that Sarah Palin did not get as much time on SNL as I had expected. In fact, she hardly said or did anything. And for her big spiel at the end, she had Amy Poehler rapping her part. Pathetic. I would have done it. Rapping can’t be too hard, right? Should look into this for next campaign move… In other news, just came out with big statement where I talked about how racism will be a big issue in this election. It's been said before, but I needed to say it too. Haven't had a lot of time in the spotlight lately, so felt this was the best way to say something shocking and hopefully profound. Am hoping it will be reported in significant papers as insightful… Also hoping that it doesn’t lead people to not vote for Obama after reading that… Did not clear statement with David, but am hoping it will encourage others to go out and vote. Beginning to sound like Obama with all this "hope" in my diary... Until next time, Joe

Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Joe Biden

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