problem:

Submitted by mous on 10/21/08 7:05pm
I own a 1986 xj6 Jaguar. It was running fine then like 2 minutes later it will only turn over but not start. I have replaced the distrubuter cap and rotar. also the fuel filter and now I am going to replace the start relays. anyone know what it could be???????

the cindy 500

Submitted by beatriz on 10/21/08 5:07pm

Tuesday October 21st

10:29PM

Dear Diary,

Still steaming about New York Times article, but am confident was able to distract American public through well-timed leak of my participation in motor sports. One of more ingenious marketing ideas I’ve ever had, if I do say so myself. John BETTER be grateful; “drifting” referenced in “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift” and consequently guaranteed to bring in youth vote thus far lacking in Republican following. Am glad media finally recognizes I have hobbies; discredits theory that am actually Stepford wife without interests, thoughts, or life outside husband’s campaign, as most of media seems to perceive…

Plus was called â??Bad Ass First Ladyâ?! Take that, Michelle Obamaâ??thereâ??s nothing badass about Princeton and pearls!

xoxo,

cindy

where to find Farm Talk Newspaper

Submitted by Anonymous on 10/21/08 2:32pm
Farm Talk Newspaper is a regional publicaion covering Northeast Ok, Eastern KS, Western MO, and Northwest AR. We hope our website is up and going soon. You should be able to find us at farmtalknewspaper.com You can reach us at 1-800-356-8255.

Jesus H. Christ wasn’t Jesus HUSSEIN Christ

Submitted by beatriz on 10/21/08 1:18pm

Tuesday October 21st

6:06PM

Dear Diary,

Many rumors thrown around that opponent is actually Messiah returned to earth in second coming (encouraged by Barack himself, no doubt) Little does Senator Bill-Ayers-BFF realize he is a False Messiah; as Jesus himself predicted, "false Christs and false prophets will arise and will show great signs and wonders, so as to mislead, if possible, even the elect” (Matthew 24:24)

Also little does democratic ticket know I was careful not only to seek out TRUE messiah, but to include her on my ticket…

Think about it! Makes complete sense. Both Jesus and Governor Palin came from backwater towns of great empires; Nazareth being small and unimportant “bump in the road,” basically Wasilla of New Testament times. Both baptized into public ministry by older, prophet-like figures named John. Liberal Media Elite clearly Pharisees of modern times, persecuting Messiah for His (Her) message that end of days is at hand.

I know Gov. Palin has taken lot of flack for belief apocalypse is nigh, but look at evidence! The “end” supposed to be preceded by “Tribulation”; if current worldwide economic crisis isn’t tribulation, I don’t know what is. God clearly reveals his will through her, as she knows He was real driving force behind Iraq war (NOT Cheney) and commands us to build pipeline in Alaska .

Plus, if Alaska is truly refuge for faithful at end of days, will be useful to have someone in White House who knows her way around the state.

Maverick, over and out.

John

Re:

Submitted by airforcetalk on 10/21/08 12:05pm
Let me put it short and sweet. I am active duty, for almost 2 years now and just want to share a quick note to you all... I am in the Air Force and I'm a jet mechanic. If any of you are thinking about joining the service, I'd say the Air Force is the best route. But be advised. Know what job you want. There are 1,000's of jobs to pick from. When you go to MEPS, don't believe them when they show you a list of 50 jobs and they tell you that "this is all we have". This is so bogus. What the list of 50 jobs is, it's a list of jobs nobody wants and most of them suck. They really need people to join those jobs so they try and lie to you and say that's all they have. If you want to do computers, tell them, I wont join unless i can get a job with computers. These guys are so busy, they probably wont show you a list of every single job the airforce has. It would be huge. If you want to be a secretary, tell them. Don't take crap from these guys. They can be like car salesman. I found out the hard way and I'm turning wrenches for 4 more years. There is any job immaginable, just tell them that's what you want. Don't believe them with the 50 list of crap jobs they show you. Take the advice of someone who has already walked the path.. Oh yeah, and DOOOO NOOTTTTT join for more than 4 years. I joined for 6 years because they offered me more money as a BONUS. I regret it to this day. The extra $8,000 I got for two more years wasn't worth it to be stationed where I am. So keep that in mind. Please... And god bless! A1C Snuffy

Really? Nader? Again?

Submitted by mous on 10/21/08 11:52am

Tuesday, October 21st

10:39PM

Dear Diary,

Exhausted from long day of convincing general public that Joe isn’t trying to undermine presidential bid with talk of impending doom. Busy making flight reservations to Hawaii, no energy left to write long diary entry inspiring hope, change, etc.

Only have time for one last thought before bedtime:

Why, Nader, why?

Hopefully yours,

Barack

Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Barack Obama

TropicalRX Q

Submitted by mous on 10/21/08 11:28am
Does anyone know what pharmacy Tropical uses? Do they update the status on the order page very often? Thanks for the help.

Jesus H. Christ wasn’t Jesus HUSSEIN Christ

Submitted by the maverick on 10/21/08 10:21am

Tuesday October 21st

6:06PM

Dear Diary,

Many rumors thrown around that opponent is actually Messiah returned to earth in second coming (encouraged by Barack himself, no doubt) Little does Senator Bill-Ayers-BFF realize he is a False Messiah; as Jesus himself predicted, "false Christs and false prophets will arise and will show great signs and wonders, so as to mislead, if possible, even the elect” (Matthew 24:24)

Also little does democratic ticket know I was careful not only to seek out TRUE messiah, but to include her on my ticket…

Think about it! Makes complete sense. Both Jesus and Governor Palin came from backwater towns of great empires; Nazareth being small and unimportant “bump in the road,” basically Wasilla of New Testament times. Both baptized into public ministry by older, prophet-like figures named John. Liberal Media Elite clearly Pharisees of modern times, persecuting Messiah for His (Her) message that end of days is at hand.

I know Gov. Palin has taken lot of flack for belief apocalypse is nigh, but look at evidence! The “end” supposed to be preceded by “Tribulation”; if current worldwide economic crisis isn’t tribulation, I don’t know what is. God clearly reveals his will through her, as she knows He was real driving force behind Iraq war (NOT Cheney) and commands us to build pipeline in Alaska .

Plus, if Alaska is truly refuge for faithful at end of days, will be useful to have someone in White House who knows her way around the state.

Maverick, over and out.

John

Originally posted in The Secret Diary of John McCain

Sarah's Favorite Post-Election Plans

Submitted by beatriz on 10/21/08 8:59am

Tuesday, October 20th

11:23AM

Dear Diary,

Came across article with suggestions for life plans after Nov. 4. While disliked insinuations that McCain-Palin ticket not infallible, decided to evaluate possible options. After all, always important to have back-up plan, like adoption if not possible to keep baby in family.

1. Permanently joining the cast of SNL

Pros: Fame, fortune, have heard my character necessary to keep show funny.

Cons: SNL really going downhill these days, suspect Tiny Fey not actually one of my biggest fans.

Likelihood: 5%

2. Presidential run in 2012

Pros: Have already evaluated possible running mates and potential competition.

Cons: Fear if McCain still alive in 2012, would demand to be running mate as compensation for current campaign.

Likelihood: 50%

3. Senator/Alaska Governor-for-life

Pros: “Governor-for-life” has nice, pro-life ring to it.

Cons: Suspect Alaska not as respected as previously thought as apparently population census neglects moose, wolves, etc.

Likelihood: 65%

4. Time’s Person of the Year

Pros: Fame.

Cons: Possibility of nationwide circulation unflattering photo.

Likelihood: 45%

5. Publishing autobiography

Pros: Would be cathartic, like writing diary.

Cons: Worry that endearing accent would not be conveyed properly through text, don’t want to be seen as following in Barack’s footsteps.

Likelihood: 75%

6. The Sarah Palin Show

Pros: Based on current media attention, show will have immediate high rating.

Cons: Probable loss of popularity after election.

Likelihood: 60%

Briefly considered other possibilities—musicals, children’s movie, inspirational lecture series, hosting new series of Miss American Politician pageants—but will address these if need arises. Until then, will continue programming machines so undecided voters can be robo-called with sweet voice rather than John’s scratchy, angry one.

Love yah!

Sarah

Really? Nader? Again?

Submitted by beatriz on 10/21/08 8:32am

Tuesday, October 21st

10:39PM

Dear Diary,

Exhausted from long day of convincing general public that Joe isn’t trying to undermine presidential bid with talk of impending doom. Busy making flight reservations to Hawaii, no energy left to write long diary entry inspiring hope, change, etc.

Only have time for one last thought before bedtime:

Why, Nader, why?

Hopefully yours,

Barack

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