Most Effective Palin-isms
Wednesday, October 28th
7:48PM
Dear Diary,
Have heard that my way of talkin’ is good means of stirring up support among rural voters, obscuring issues, and, in general, winning election. Have compiled list of most effective Palin-isms and their English translations so as to increase use of most useful expressions in future speeches.
Palin-isms, Translations, and Uses
Meaning: Refers to things that are very bad unless we have them.
Used: Frequently over last eight years with great success.
Meaning: ‘Of course I am right, you godless liberals’, but in non-controversial, folksy sort of way.
Used: After rhetorical questions.
Meaning: Consorts with, heavily influenced by.
Used: For making dangerous insinuations while appearing to be discussing happy friendship-like activities.
Meaning: A Midwestern state.
Used: To persuade voters with understanding of correct pronunciation of state name.
Meaning: Muslims who hate God and try to destroy God’s chosen people.
Used: All the time.
However, while online sources say that way of speaking is good for campaign, campaign itself says that speaking at all is bad for campaign.
Love yah!
Sarah
Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin
when I wake up in the morning, he's THERE...
Tuesday October 28th
10:04PM
Dear Diary,
With all the talk about political influence of Saturday Night Live lately, decided to look up some old appearances of John’s on show and came across this. Well, New York Times, can you see NOW why I wanted to be in Arizona while my husband was in Washington?! Was having Personal Space Invaded on daily basis. Is even worse now, as Straight Talk Express approximately half the size of closet at ONE of my our 13 homes. Sigh. If only America knew what I had to put up with, they would have FAR more sympathy...
xoxo,
cindy
modeling
Model/Singer
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CMA Awards 2003
The maverick out-mavericked
Tuesday October 28th
3:31PM
Dear Diary,
Darn it all! Pageant Runner-Up Governor Palin employed beauty queen tactics to dazzle holding cell guards into letting her waltz out of captivity; is now running amuck through nation, refusing to answer calls or recite key phrases we spent WEEKS forcing her to memorize. Rumors she is setting self up to be next leader of Party and thus seeking break from party leaders before her, meaning ME . Absurd! I would NEVER ever be so disrespectful to the party establishment that came before me, as they are ones who keep us where we are and ergo deserve utmost respect and reverence.
In other news, seven text messages from George W. just this morning asking if I am still alive; has been fearing heart attack due to failure to respond to his many inquiries. Told intern to reply that John doesn’t know how to use new-fangled SMS dealybopper. Or e-mail. Or phones. Ha! Liberal Media Elite spends so much time ragging on my advanced age, George may just believe it. After all, the man has fallen for some pretty ridiculous stories.
But back to Gov Palin—the nerve of that woman! Well, she can count out my endorsement.
Maverick, over and out.
John
Election Countdown
Most Effective Palin-isms
Wednesday, October 28th
7:48PM
Dear Diary,
Have heard that my way of talkin’ is good means of stirring up support among rural voters, obscuring issues, and, in general, winning election. Have compiled list of most effective Palin-isms and their English translations so as to increase use of most useful expressions in future speeches.
Palin-isms, Translations, and Uses
Meaning: Refers to things that are very bad unless we have them.
Used: Frequently over last eight years with great success.
Meaning: ‘Of course I am right, you godless liberals’, but in non-controversial, folksy sort of way.
Used: After rhetorical questions.
Meaning: Consorts with, heavily influenced by.
Used: For making dangerous insinuations while appearing to be discussing happy friendship-like activities.
Meaning: A Midwestern state.
Used: To persuade voters with understanding of correct pronunciation of state name.
Meaning: Muslims who hate God and try to destroy God’s chosen people.
Used: All the time.
However, while online sources say that way of speaking is good for campaign, campaign itself says that speaking at all is bad for campaign.
Love yah!
Sarah