Am confident that subliminal message implanted into infomercial will take root in minds of American people, suppressing latent racism with need to vote for candidate with funniest name

Submitted by beatriz on 11/01/08 8:41am

Saturday, November 1st

10:37PM

Dear Diary,

Tied to another radical? Note to self: must refrain from speaking to professors in future as is apparently very dangerous, subversive profession.

In other news, half hour infomercial at least partial success. John didn’t approve, of course (though SNL infomercial sketch actually rather amusing), but is well-documented fact that infomercials have power to make people buy anything. In fact, inspiration for political infomercial came from that one time I bought pair of clip-on shoe spikes under belief that they would aerate lawn as I walked and consequently make wife fall in love all over again. (Did not work, unfortunately. Due to paranoia over assassination plots, Michelle thought spikes were weapons and threw them out.) Anyway, am confident that subliminal message implanted into infomercial will take root in minds of American people, suppressing latent racism with need to vote for candidate with funniest name.

Spent two hours this afternoon playing with model of electoral map. Started coloring in states to spell out initials (only first and last initials, of course), but Michelle took away map and said I needed to â??Get back to campaigningâ??donâ??t you realize you have only three days left?!â? No fun at all.

Anyway, got to check polls and electoral predictions before map was confiscated. Result: still ahead!

Hopefully yours,

Barack

Mom-in-Chief

Submitted by michelle o. on 11/01/08 8:35am
Saturday, November 1 5:05pm Dear Diary, I must say, I am just raking in the votes for Barack. I’ve done yet another successful magazine interview, and judging by its wild success, I think it’s safe to say that my fans love me! Plus, I know people would rather see me as First Lady rather than Cindy McCain anyway. Honestly, she doesn’t even look human with all of her obvious plastic surgery.. I at least look like a mom in touch with her kids. I even said that in an interview – that I’m not going to play a large role in the Obama Administration, but instead continue to be "Mom-in-Chief." I knew the magazine’s readers would just eat that up. Little do they know that I plan to be a force to reckon with in the White House. I’m not just going to go there and do nothing. I have to get in the spotlight and become a national hero of sorts, and then use that for when I run for president. I wouldn’t mind if Barack won again in 2012, as long as I got to win the presidency in 2016. Looking forward to continuing the Obama dynasty, since the Clinton dynasty didn’t exactly work out. Still, I’ll have to publicize my involvement in steps, to gage public reaction. The idea of a working mother should appeal to a lot of people, and I plan to milk that for all it’s worth. Yours always, Michelle Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Michelle Obama

Sports fans NOT for Palin

Submitted by joe six pack on 11/01/08 8:09am
Saturday, November 1 3:05pm Dear Diary, Well, after being hidden away for so long by David and the rest of the campaign advisors, they FINALLY let me in the media spotlight. And it’s about time! I’m certainly the most qualified member of the Democratic ticket, but of course I have to answer to a bunch of young’uns. Still, they gave me the publicity time on Halloween night. when everyone’s either trick-or-treating or at some party. Still, some time is better than no time. And perhaps because of my stellar interview, I will be allowed some more interview time, since I’ve proved that I’m great in front of the camera. Unlike Sarah Palin… I thought it was hilarious when Palin received boos after mentioning the Phillies’ win in Pirates territory. They were so pissed, and actually booed her at her own rally. Wow. Probably should have researched the local sports teams’ loyalties if she’s gonna bring it up in a debate. Love to see her get booed for the second time in Pennsylvania at a game, especially since she considers herself to be such a sports fan. David’s mentioned this before, and I guess he has a point. I’d rather not be in the spotlight than be booed in a state I’m trying to win. Still, I would never talk up the Phillies in Erie, Pennsylanvia. That’s more than a gaffe, that’s just dumb. Until next time, Joe

Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Joe Biden

Modeling Job

Submitted by mous on 11/01/08 4:31am
I am 17 years old and I am looking for a modeling job.I attended Barbizon modeling school for 18 months and graduated april 25,1999.I was fourth place in the elite model look in 2001.If you have any information for me please contact me. Height:5'10" Shoe Size:11 Waist:26 Hips:36 Chest:32

Nerves

Submitted by mous on 11/01/08 3:58am
I hav real bad nerves latley wen ever my sugars high Im semi new 2 this I had type1 4 a year already. Im always really moody wat should I do?

Aijuswannamakit

Submitted by airforcetalk on 10/31/08 9:36pm
I will be leaving for basic training at Lackland afb on 03September and I am extermely unprepared. I need to know what items, (personal or non) that I am required to take with me. Please respond

Nail Salon Supplies

Submitted by Anonymous on 10/31/08 9:25pm
I am trying to start up a nail salon here in Portland, Maine. I have the money for start up, and it is easy to find the place. The thing I am having a hard time with is where is the best place to go and order my supplies?? Is there a place in Mass or N.Y. that I could go to purchase all of the supplies needed to run my shop? If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to e mail me. Thank you so much in advance for your time. ~Asia~

feeding

Submitted by Anonymous on 10/31/08 8:55pm
I have just acquired a 2yr old dalmation. I have been feeding him once a day but he seems to be constantly searching for food. Should I feed him smaller quantities 2x a day maybe. What are your thoughts fellow owners?

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by mous on 10/31/08 6:48pm
Ive been looking for about four hours straight for the name or singer of a song I Know most of the chorus to----------it goes: i promise to be your best friend and am i here untill the end can i be sure i have been waiting for you and did i say my love is true...baby i will i am i can i have i do
If you know could you PLEASE PLEASE email the name or artist of the song to me

PITBULL PUPPIES FOR SALE

Submitted by Anonymous on 10/31/08 6:47pm
4 MALES 4 FEMALES COLBY&OLDFAMILY REDNOSE . PRICE $300.00 REGISTERED PEDIGREE WITH PURCHASE. 601-428-7693

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