French comedians not really Freedom comedians after all

Saturday, November 1st

8:32PM

Dear Diary,

Everyone talking about Sarkozy prank call. Feel entire situation ridiculous. Received phone call, was told French president on phone, and man with French accent spoke. All French accents sound the same! Totally legitimate mistake. Anyway, media can’t tell me and Tina apart—and neither can Tina’s daughter—so ridicule of Sakozy incident completely unfair.

In other news, am using effective strategy of appealing to many previously-ignored professions. Despite recent failures of Joe the Plumber—turns out it is difficult to stay media darling if not attending mandatory rallies—his continued popularity as unqualified spokesman and Google search item leads to conclusion: we must have more Joe the Plumbers!

However, as unlicensed plumber demographic likely already swayed toward McCain-Palin, have used other options in speeches in order to gauge crowd reaction. So far, have tried:

-Molly the Dental Hygienist

-Chuck the Teacher

-Jane the Engineer

-Ed the Dairyman

-Rose the Teacher

-Phil the Bricklayer

-Tito the Builder

Believe Tito most successful as has possibility of swaying Hispanic voting bloc and/or attracting wealthy builder’s associations to donate money to purchase new wardrobe after old is donated.

Love yah!

Sarah

Originally posted in The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin

my only showbiz connections are Jon Voight and Heidi from 'The Hills'

Saturday November 1st

11:58PM

Dear Diary,

Shotgunned five Red Bulls in order to stay awake for Saturday Night Live appearance; heart has not yet stopped racing, but am convinced that possibly life-threatening caffeine overdose well worth free publicity. As said on show: may not have money for extensive TV spots like Mr. Officially-Achieved-More-TV-Coverage-Than-Michael-Phelps, but I know what’s important in election this year. Issues? Nah. Experience? I wish. Voice of young America has spoken, and voice says election will be determined by complex algorithm taking into account quantity + quality of Saturday Night Live appearances. And people say I’m not “in tune” with today’s youth! I’ve got news for them: I'm down. I've got the 411. My momma didn't raise no foo'.

Relented to Cindyâ??s persistent pleading to appear alongside self on SNL. Beginning to feel Cindy extremely jealous of popularity achieved by GILF Gov. Palin. Also suspect Cindy, like most of America as well as Alec Baldwin, completely unable to distinguish between Tina Fey and future Vice President of America.

Maverick, over and out.

John

Originally posted in The Secret Diary of John McCain

my only showbiz connections are Jon Voight and Heidi from 'The Hills'

Saturday November 1st

11:58PM

Dear Diary,

Shotgunned five Red Bulls in order to stay awake for Saturday Night Live appearance; heart has not yet stopped racing, but am convinced that possibly life-threatening caffeine overdose well worth free publicity. As said on show: may not have money for extensive TV spots like Mr. Officially-Achieved-More-TV-Coverage-Than-Michael-Phelps, but I know what’s important in election this year. Issues? Nah. Experience? I wish. Voice of young America has spoken, and voice says election will be determined by complex algorithm taking into account quantity + quality of Saturday Night Live appearances. And people say I’m not “in tune” with today’s youth! I’ve got news for them: I'm down. I've got the 411. My momma didn't raise no foo'.

Relented to Cindyâ??s persistent pleading to appear alongside self on SNL. Beginning to feel Cindy extremely jealous of popularity achieved by GILF Gov. Palin. Also suspect Cindy, like most of America as well as Alec Baldwin, completely unable to distinguish between Tina Fey and future Vice President of America.

Maverick, over and out.

John

Sports fans NOT for Palin

Saturday, November 1 3:05pm Dear Diary, Well, after being hidden away for so long by David and the rest of the campaign advisors, they FINALLY let me in the media spotlight. And it’s about time! I’m certainly the most qualified member of the Democratic ticket, but of course I have to answer to a bunch of young’uns. Still, they gave me the publicity time on Halloween night. when everyone’s either trick-or-treating or at some party. Still, some time is better than no time. And perhaps because of my stellar interview, I will be allowed some more interview time, since I’ve proved that I’m great in front of the camera. Unlike Sarah Palin… I thought it was hilarious when Palin received boos after mentioning the Phillies’ win in Pirates territory. They were so pissed, and actually booed her at her own rally. Wow. Probably should have researched the local sports teams’ loyalties if she’s gonna bring it up in a debate. Love to see her get booed for the second time in Pennsylvania at a game, especially since she considers herself to be such a sports fan. David’s mentioned this before, and I guess he has a point. I’d rather not be in the spotlight than be booed in a state I’m trying to win. Still, I would never talk up the Phillies in Erie, Pennsylanvia. That’s more than a gaffe, that’s just dumb. Until next time, Joe

Mom-in-Chief

Saturday, November 1 5:05pm Dear Diary, I must say, I am just raking in the votes for Barack. I’ve done yet another successful magazine interview, and judging by its wild success, I think it’s safe to say that my fans love me! Plus, I know people would rather see me as First Lady rather than Cindy McCain anyway. Honestly, she doesn’t even look human with all of her obvious plastic surgery.. I at least look like a mom in touch with her kids. I even said that in an interview – that I’m not going to play a large role in the Obama Administration, but instead continue to be "Mom-in-Chief." I knew the magazine’s readers would just eat that up. Little do they know that I plan to be a force to reckon with in the White House. I’m not just going to go there and do nothing. I have to get in the spotlight and become a national hero of sorts, and then use that for when I run for president. I wouldn’t mind if Barack won again in 2012, as long as I got to win the presidency in 2016. Looking forward to continuing the Obama dynasty, since the Clinton dynasty didn’t exactly work out. Still, I’ll have to publicize my involvement in steps, to gage public reaction. The idea of a working mother should appeal to a lot of people, and I plan to milk that for all it’s worth. Yours always, Michelle

id like to be a model

i am 5'8, blue eyes,brown hair,slim,111lbs.i have done modeling in 1999,and did one runway show.i have a portfolio as well and i would like some more work.it was fun while i did it.thanks.if u would like ot see some pics please email me.

Re: new holland 488

I just purchased a used new holland 488 haybine. I have been told that this plugs up constantly. I previously used a 479 . Did not have a plugging problem. Does anyone have any insight into using the 488. Did I make a mistake?

Acrylic nails for men

Hi, I'm a man who bites his nails. I was wondering if acrylics would help me to stop and if I do go and get some would other people know I had them on?

French comedians not really Freedom comedians after all

Saturday, November 1st

8:32PM

Dear Diary,

Everyone talking about Sarkozy prank call. Feel entire situation ridiculous. Received phone call, was told French president on phone, and man with French accent spoke. All French accents sound the same! Totally legitimate mistake. Anyway, media can’t tell me and Tina apart—and neither can Tina’s daughter—so ridicule of Sakozy incident completely unfair.

In other news, am using effective strategy of appealing to many previously-ignored professions. Despite recent failures of Joe the Plumber—turns out it is difficult to stay media darling if not attending mandatory rallies—his continued popularity as unqualified spokesman and Google search item leads to conclusion: we must have more Joe the Plumbers!

However, as unlicensed plumber demographic likely already swayed toward McCain-Palin, have used other options in speeches in order to gauge crowd reaction. So far, have tried:

-Molly the Dental Hygienist

-Chuck the Teacher

-Jane the Engineer

-Ed the Dairyman

-Rose the Teacher

-Phil the Bricklayer

-Tito the Builder

Believe Tito most successful as has possibility of swaying Hispanic voting bloc and/or attracting wealthy builder’s associations to donate money to purchase new wardrobe after old is donated.

Love yah!

Sarah

Tech School at Goodfellow AFB

I'd like to hear about how tech school at Goodfellow was. Also anyone else going to be their in March 2003 for tech school? I'll be their for Intel.

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