Paranorman

Submitted by sarajean on 12/08/12 5:22pm
It’s more like Coraline than Corpse Bride, which is great—but not for the kiddos.

My family and I really wanted to see the film Paranorman in theaters together. We’re big stop animation fans and my daughter loves Corpse Bride and The Nightmare Before Christmas. That said, she is only seven, and we haven’t let her watch Coraline yet. In fact, we haven’t let her watch any movies like these unless we’ve already seen them and determined their fear factor, so we decided to wait and see it ourselves on DVD first.

I am so glad we did that. We rented the movie to watch on my husband’s birthday last night and it was pretty scary for kids. It wasn’t really gory or anything, but there were a couple of make-you-jump moments as well as a few that made me think my daughter would be quite scared. She still gets scared watching Scooby Doo, so I usually have a good feeling about what she can tolerate.

The movie is really good. It’s funny, ironic, and has a lovely message about what fear can do to people if they let it change them—a message we’re not often given in movies, children’s or otherwise. I love the animation so much because every character is “abnormal;” you will find every body type from stick-thin figures to wobbly, fat bodies, a refreshing change from the typical animated feature with people of all the same body type. Even the faces are all differently shaped.

The hero of the story is, of course, Norman, but his fat friend Neil cannot be overlooked. Just as Norman stands up to the spirit haunting the town—a completely different spirit from the legend the town believes, by the way—Neil stands up to the bullies who taunt him and Norman, reaches out to Norman as a friend, embraces his fatness and other quirks, and even defends Norman from a man whom he believes to be a threat who is much bigger than him. Once she’s old enough, I will have no problem with my kiddo watching these characters at all.

Something else you’ll find in Paranorman is the first openly gay cartoon character that I can think of. It’s a complete surprise, so I won’t give it away, but all I could do was grin. Even though it was meant to be a funny moment, I still appreciate it in the film. Now if only there were more females and people of color in it…

Naked Jogger Wins Court Case

Submitted by darksaturn7 on 12/08/12 5:13pm
Win for those that like a bit more wind gently caressing them as they jog.

 

Ah jogging. That physical activity that is free, can be done whenever the weather permits, in most areas and in one’s free time. …I so need to do it more often. You don’t even need to wear any spiffy uniforms or outfits – well unless you want to. Just go outside with some comfortable clothes, some kicks you don’t mind getting dirty and run to your heart’s content.
 
But some runners take comfort to a whole new level but running in the buff. A nudist in New Zealand decided to combine this activity and his penchant for being nude by doing nude jogs in a local park. Mind you he ran in a more secluded area away from the general public and pretty much tried to be considerate.
 
Well, it wasn’t ‘considerate’ enough as someone saw him and called the authorities. This led to a court case having the man brought up on indecent exposure chargers. But, after hearing out the case, the presiding Judge ruled in favor of the nudist comparing the incident that sparked this who thing like ‘two gang members walking together in the same area.” 
 
Personally I think it’d be a good thing for humanity to stop fetishing or fearing the naked body. The body is a mish mash skin, follicles, meat, water ect. This guy wasn’t running around with bondage gear on or harassing others. He was simply running. The guy wasn’t making it sexual but offended people were. The only thing bad I can glean from the situation was that…mosquitoes and bush around bare skin sounds highly unpleasant. 
 

Silly Video Game Conventions

Submitted by darksaturn7 on 12/08/12 5:13pm
Not Fan Conventions.

 

You know what I mean. Not those conventions where you meet people in costumes and what not, but the ones you see in every video game. You, know those strange things that break emersion yet are just there. Like the health bar. Like, I get why there is a heath bar; it’s great to know exactly how hurt you are in say a gun fight with a million ninjas. This is great in say a shooter where you are manning a plane or something.
 
But doing this with a human or living things is a tad silly. You can like make the character drop or limp around in pain and figure that out. 
 
Or cars. I guess in some games the point is to destroy moving vehicles. But thing is, most games have it so that it you simply shoot at the hood a few times or the tires, the thing will explode in a shower of sparks and Michael Bat explosions. Seriously, that has happening in reality like never. Then again aside from stopping a car from moving or getting to or at someone there is no reason to explode a car. Yet many games do.
 
Or the sparkly thing. You know. World of Warcraft went nuts with that making it so every important item to be found ever sparkles harder that a terrible vampire boyfriend. It’s silly. What kind of character are we playing, a parrot with ADD? It looks bad and it looks like pandering – as if people are that lazy and can’t find things.
 
Game companies…why do you do these things, they look stupid nowadays. 
 

Murder Miners

Submitted by darksaturn7 on 12/08/12 5:12pm
Minecraft with Zombies?

 

Remember Minecraft? That often talked about (to death) sandbox game that everyone and their mother has tried and either got so immersed in it that they aren’t heard from for weeks (mining forever), or are like meh (like I) and just kind of brushed it off as okay? You know – that game that is now mercilessly being ripped off by everyone under the sun?
 
Well here’s another reiteration, but yet is not. It is more Minecraft was tossed into a blender with Halo, then poured onto a zombie soufflé.  It is an up to 20 player experience where you can create custom maps where you shoot each other. Various settings like death match, zombie survival and even on aptly named ‘infection’ will keep you on your toes. Also fully destroyable environments. 
 
The Miner Gun – build shelter with it and attack with it. What a strange duality.
 
It’s like getting the fun of multiplayer shootouts AND building things without paying the $60 price tag. The community that has built up around this game is a testament to how received it is. Also the people behind the game, JForce Games seem to have the customer service thing down pat as well. 
 

Murder Miners XBLIG Gameplay

 
Despite my meh attitude about Minecraft, I’m rather digging this game. The blocky style may take a big of getting used to but the fact that you can build your own safe house while you fight the zombies hordes (and enemy players) is just right up my zombie hunter alley. 
 
You can get Murder Miners off of XBLiG for 80 Microsoft Points. 
 

Parodius Da!

Submitted by darksaturn7 on 12/08/12 5:12pm
A cute parody.

 

I remember as a kid hanging out in Arcades. Tetris, assorted fighting games like Tekken and Street Fighter, House of the Dead. So many great and classic titles. There was one I recall as well, Gradious. Gradious was a side scrolling shooter that wasn’t a bull hell (bullet hell was imported in years later to America); it was more like clear the screen and avoid the many obstacles in your path. Everything was near shoot able and the bosses filed the screen complete with flashing weak points.
But just because everything was shoot able meant that the game was easy. Oh ho no. It was hard before Nintendo Hard became a house hold name. Forget walking out with a pile of quarters, but lucky you had any left for the bus ride home (or a phone call to your parents – back then we had no cell phones). That game was addictive though and fun.
 
So color me amazed to find years later  after all the copy cats and redos of said game that the company itself that made this game Konami, made a parody version. It is a Japan!cute version of Gradious with odd and weird creatures shooting other odd creatures. You fly around as a pig shooting crying ducks, Octopi and any and all cartoony weirdness they game tosses at you. 
 

Parodius Da! (Octopus) 1990 Konami Mame Retro Arcade Games

 
But don’t fret – the game is still rather hard as the original with tight corners to escape with things shooting at you making navigating said corners hard. This game is one in a few Gradious parodies. Why Konami felt like doing so, I’m not sure. 
 

I Gave My Kids a Terrible Present

Submitted by darksaturn7 on 12/08/12 5:12pm
-and it was funny.

 

The Xmas holiday is a time of joy, hanging with family, dreams, miracles, for some people church, for some sleeping in – and for some the joy in giving things to other people. Oh, be real – for many (especially kids) it’s about getting stuff you really want for free. Want a WiiU? Beg and drop obvious hints (if not just outright tell) to your parents to get you one. Want a iPhone? Beg Santa on Santa’s (your family member’s) work phone. Keep on and expect it to be right under that tree.
 
But late Night Show with Jimmy Kimble decided to twist this expectation. Instead of caving to your child’s requests for expensive things, give them absolute crap for the big day. Crap like food, old clothing, baking mix –stuff that no one in their right mind would gift anyone especially children. Then video tape it and send it in.
 
This premise in its self-sounded cruel yet was very revealing when you watched the kids reactions.
 
It was also hilariously mean.
 

YouTube Challenge - I Gave My Kids a Terrible Present

 
 
Seeing kids react with confusion – that was expected. Some actually like their gifts. But many of them near broke down in tears. On screamed that they hated their parents. Another actually threw the unwanted gift at their parents like a spoiled brat. It was as if these kids did not grasp the point of gifting – to show that you the gifter, care about the giftee. It was a rule one the big day that if you received a gift you didn’t that you’d suck it up, chime about how you love it, then the next day sneakily send it in for returns (many would leave the receipt with the stuff) or if you are brave and think you won’t get caught, re-gift the thing to others. But these kids seemed to have forgotten that they are not obligated to a gift at all and should be happy that they live  in a nice situation where gifts were afforded this year. A funny, yet very mean clip – not because of the kids getting nothing good but of their ungrateful reactions. 
 

Chocolate Fruit

Submitted by darksaturn7 on 12/08/12 5:11pm
How yummy.

 

I love sweet tasting fruits. Even tart ones I enjoy. I love them cubed up, pressed down into juices (not into jam strangely enough) or just simply cut up into pieces. I simply enjoy fruit. But what’s better than just fruit? Fruit with toppings, yum. I don’t mean any old toppings though. 

 

For example, fruit with heavy syrup or creams do not do it for me. They taste too candy like and it irks me almost as bad as anything with ‘sweet and sour’ in its name. Fruit mixed with jello also bugs me. I like jello separately from fruit but the two together…no. 
 
And don’t get me started on nuts or chewy things being thrown together with fruits. 
 
Yes, I’m a picky eater. But funny enough, chocolate tends to skip by my aversion to super sweet things or sour things or even chewy things into something I enjoy. I like the strange mix of all of those that you get with chocolate. I like the blend of flavors that seem to just work and even accentuate both fruit and chocolate. I also like that chocolate lends itself easily to being a dipping sauce and or garnishment to fruit. Also, have you ever seen chocolate and fruit ever look unappetizing? I sure haven’t. 
 
 
And adding on drizzles of white chocolate with the dark chocolate? Awesome sauce (literally). I suggest you get one of those pots, the ones where you can dip meat in with oil and use chocolate instead. Having a platter of fruit + skewers + pot of hot melted chocolate + friends = fun times. 
 

Pretending to be gay isn’t learning tolerance.

Submitted by sarajean on 12/08/12 3:57pm
Are you gonna get pregnant to see what that’s like next, Mister?

Have you heard about this Christian guy who spent a whole year of his life pretending to be gay just so he could “understand” gay people better? The guy was raised as a Christian and taught that being gay is a sin or whatever—but not that it’s reprehensible to, say, work on Sundays or touch a pig’s skin, as the Bible clearly states, but you know how some people like to pick and choose—and when his friend came out to him as a lesbian, he wanted to understand her. He wanted to so much that he came out to his family, had a fake boyfriend, and pretended to be gay to the entire world for a year.

You, sir, are despicable. What’s next, getting pregnant and having a baby to “understand” women? You’ll need a period first, bucko; good luck with that one.

I have heard people saying that this was a “brave” thing to do. The hell it is. To me it sounds like a ploy to write a book and sell it and—oh, yeah, he did that! I have also heard that the gay people he bonded with over this time expressed a lot of pain and feelings of betrayal, and boy, I don’t blame them at all. Could you imagine? It’s like Hugh Grant pretending to have a kid so he could meet women in About a Boy, but perhaps worse. I don’t care what the goal was, the end result was deception.

Dude, the fact that you couldn’t offer someone understanding, could not discover some compassion in your heart to give a fellow human being without literally being that person, I don’t think you are what Christ intended his students to be by a long shot. Did Christ, say, pose as a leper for a year? No? You’re kidding! I think you’re in a lot of trouble if that’s where your mind went when you thought of just how to offer some understanding and compassion for your friend.

I’ve never been one to side with many evangelical Christians, but I have been a fan of Jesus most of my life. Nobody’s perfect, but he’s pretty decent hero material—and he taught to accept people and not judge them from what I remember. Why is it that his followers don’t get this, again? I just don’t get it.

I don’t wish more Christians were like this man who deceived his whole community. I wish more Christians were like Christ.

Make a tongue-in-cheek soundtrack

Submitted by sarajean on 12/08/12 2:34pm
If nothing else, maybe it will make you feel better.

You know how everyone suggests that you write an angry letter to people who hurt you (or even a letter of forgiveness) and never send it to make you feel better? I am totally on board with such an idea. However, this is 2013 and you aren’t limited to letters. While I wouldn’t suggest making an angry text or email draft—you might send it!—I thought of a better idea today: an angry soundtrack.

I have unconsciously been doing this for years, I have realized. I have made angry soundtracks to go with situations where I am in pain and so angry at people my blood is boiling (“Gives You Hell” comes to mind, while “Time to Begin” is often played on repeat when I’m hurt by someone). When I was so angry at some relatives this year—people I’m still not friendly with, even now, months later, after so much pain—I plastered “Don’t Give a Damn Bout My Reputation” on my Facebook wall. Not that they could see it, of course, but it made me feel a little “Stronger,” another good angry playlist song.

I’ve made dozens of playlists over the years for my husband and me—I like to write long, obnoxious notes on the CDs I’ve made for him to play in the car. Funnily enough, the latest to be added to such mixes is “Unchained Melody,” mainly because we like to sing it together on the karaoke microphones lately.

But we were goofing off discussing how we’d like to send certain songs to certain people, and that’s when I thought it would be a wonderful idea to create angry playlists that you’d like to send—and then not send them, of course. For someone who keeps thrusting religion in our faces, for example, we thought about creating a CD with “Losing My Religion” and “Closer to God” on it. Yeah, not very nice, and I don’t mean to attack anyone—just to stop being attacked ourselves. But if I made the list—and especially if I gave it away—I guess I would be attacking someone, too.

So perhaps the list I really should be making is a peaceful list to simply help me deal with people during the holidays (and any other day) when I may be struggling with peace. Lennon’s “The War is Over” is a good one, as is his “Imagine,” right? “Seasons of Love” from Rent usually gets me in a good, loving mood.

What about you? What playlist are you itching to make?

Do you really need to have the last word?

Submitted by sarajean on 12/08/12 2:06pm
Perhaps if you don’t improve the silence, you shouldn’t open your maw.

We all know this person. Whether he or she is the relative you dread, the family friend who knows everything, or the mommy at the playground who thinks you’re an idiot and tries to get every other mom on her side, too, it’s the person who just has to have the last word.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve proven yourself to be correct; he or she will just sniff and say, “That’s a questionable source,” or “That’s disputable,” or even, “Well, I guess you know everything!” You take to tiptoeing around this person to avoid trouble, sticking to subjects like the weather—which is even tricky now that we have so many record temperatures—or your clothes or anything else that might not make this person start spewing their righteous blather.

The thing is, you really can’t avoid it because he or she is probably already planning on bringing up some new thing to dumbfound you—and everyone else with—for attention. It will be something they saw Jesse Ventura mention, for example (my uncle loves to talk about “Obama death camps”), or something Fox News had on that they’ve decided is pure gold. And it doesn’t matter what you say; not only will you not change their mind, you will also not satisfy them with your “Let’s agree to disagree” or your rationalized arguments with evidence. They will not be happy until you say these words exactly: “You’re right and I’m wrong.”

This silliness is insanely petty and features a grade-school mentality that a first grader could surpass, but unfortunately there are plenty of people who simply think this way. So what do you do to still enjoy your day (or even your holiday) while not fighting and getting angry over a person who wants to convert you to their religion, politics, or even news station?

Honestly, I don’t have the answer. So far I’ve unfortunately resorted to rudeness, such as dining in another room or making an excuse to have to attend to something or another—another relative to visit, an appointment, whatever—rather than have to stomach such company. I’ve tried discussions and humor before, but those haven’t seemed to work with most people. (With some, it worked after a bit of tension and apprehensive “not my friend anymore!” type feelings) I’d rather not do this, but what alternatives are there to an all-out war with such persons?

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